Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 09:39:13 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Is she being manipulative?  (Read 389 times)
Twice divorced
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: September 20, 2017, 12:55:14 AM »

I have been in a relationship for nearly a year with a 56 year old woman, highly attractive, bright and successful, she is currently pulling away, we have discussed living together, but now she seems unsure, I am left with the feeling she doesn't care, although she maintains that she loves me and just needs more time as it takes her longer than 'normal' people to establish a relationship, all seems ok when on holiday, but not great in the real world. I am trying very hard, but left with the feeling I may be just being used for support and a holiday buddy, everything seems to be on her terms. She has very fees friends, bit of a hermit, and poor relationships with all her family, really need some guidance
Logged
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Coconut2017

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 31


« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2017, 07:35:40 AM »

I would not jump into conclusions.
Maybe just talk to her and find out what are her worries about living together.
Maybe she is a type of person who loves her personal space and is protective about it? Maybe she is worried about compromises to her lifestyle that she would like to make?
Find out the real reason.
Logged
Tattered Heart
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1943



« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2017, 04:42:38 PM »

Hi Twice Divorced,

Welcome Welcome to the community. I"m sorry that you are going through a difficult time with your gf. I can imagine how frustrating it woul dbe to want to take things to a higher level only to have things put on hold longer than you would like.

What makes you believe she has BPD?

One thing some people with BPD have is what is called a fear of engulfment. pwBPD feel things very strongly and sometimes they worry that they will be completely overtaken with their emotions for another person. They worry about losing themselves. Does that make sense?
Logged

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life Proverbs 13:12

lostandconfused6
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 267


« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2017, 02:45:44 PM »

my BPDbf and I have been together almost 2 years... .he is living with his parents at the moment I don't push to move in anymore because it gets me nowhere... .he has given me reasons recently as to why he doesn't want to live with me yet and they have been he doesn't want to make the same misteaks he made in the past when he moved in to soon with other girls... .another one has been he doesn't feel stable enough to live with me and wants to be able to provide for me (I make more than enough money to support myself and don't expect him to pay my way) I respect the part about him wanting to be out of school and get a job and be more stable... .I have a problem with him saying he doesn't want to make the same mistakes... .I go above and beyond to prove i'm not like the other girls he's been with and it makes me so angry when he says he doesn't want to do something because of the way his exs were... .unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!