mentally tired and can't keep up

[Blanca]

My adult son has BPD & bipolar & i suspect a healthy dose of narcissistic disorder. I myself am bipolar with a tendency to shut down emotionally when  overwhelmed.  I raised him alone so we have developed an emotional  intetpendence where each conversation is explosive.   He has learned DBT skills & i see a therapist.  nevertheless, when he cycles through his phobias, obsessions, & turns his emotions toward me, I don't know how to deal with the drama. I try to listen but too easily try to defend myself so he says I don't listen. 

does this ring any bells? what do you do to deescalate the situation & still be supportive?

How do you protect yourself?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hi Blanca

Welcome to the site and yes, I have to say that I used to get sucked in and ended up trying to justify etc which I now know is called JADE. I wish I'd found this site sooner as my uBPD son had already moved away and gone n/c before I came across it. I can't offer you any advice unfortunately other than to read as much as you can and learn how to deal with your son as effectively as you can. Above all else, take care of yourself and your needs.

One of your questions "how do you protect yourself?" Do you mean emotionally?

You say that your son has learned DBT skills and you see a therapist. Did your son learn his skills with a therapist? Would it be an option for both of you to see a therapist together?