New grandchild but my daughter won't let me in

[Parents! Get help here!]

My daughter is BPD. She had a baby in May and has not started taking her meds yet, she will not let me see my grandson and my heart is broken.  I love her and my grandson with whole heart but I am the person she lashes out at and she is lashing out so badly right now.  I miss her. I want to be a grandma and her mom again but she just will not let me in?

[momwhocries]

My daughter is BPD. She had a baby in May and has not started taking her meds yet, she will not let me see my grandson and my heart is broken.  I love her and my grandson with whole heart but I am the person she lashes out at and she is lashing out so badly right now.  I miss her. I want to be a grandma and her mom again but she just will not let me in?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

That must be very painful to be blocked from seeing your grand baby, momwhocries... .

What events led up to her emotionally cutting you off? Is the father in the mix or other family?

Turkish

[livednlearned]

I'm so sorry, momwhocries

I can only imagine how painful that must feel, and helpless to support your daughter when she won't even let you into her life.

What happens when you reach out?

Maybe we can pull together some collective wisdom and see if anything helps.

I found the skills are not intuitive, and take much patience and practice.

You are not alone, momwhocries. We are here to walk with you.

LnL

[momwhocries]

I am guilty of always bailing her out financially when she gets in trouble. My grandsons father is in the picture and I love him to the moon too!  They both have good jobs but she tends to spend a great deal more then they have and this last time I said no.  I can no longer carry her financial baggage (she is 29). She was using my grandson and money to manipulate me. 
When I said no more money she said no more Grandson

I love them all so much but in the past three years I have given them almost 30K and I just don't have it to give anymore. I have two other daughters who are in college and I have not been able to be fair with them.

I just miss her so much, we used to be very close.  I have aways been the answer to her questions and the solution to her problems but I just can't do it anymore.

Momwhocries