Hospitalized child refuses to contract for safety

[MidnightRunner]

Hi there. Our 14-year-old daughter has been hospitalized 5 times within the past 6 months for suicidal plans. She was admitted last week for attempting to overdose in the school bathroom (though all she could get her hands on were 5 Mucinex). I'm devastated. She is miserable, hopeless, and feels that she has tried every type of therapy to get better. She refuses to contract for safety once discharged and though she says she wants to go home and likes it at home, she admits that if she's home, she'll just make another plan to kill herself. She has a good life and good friends but her dark thoughts constantly plague her. I don't know what we can do to support her other than just try to reassure her. We've told her that if she can believe she can get better and she can throw herself whole-heartedly into DBT and therapy, that she stands a very good chance of getting better. But she doesn't buy it. She's given up and I'm finding it so hard not to do the same. Where do we go from here?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[1hope]

You are in such a difficult situation, and many of us have been there too.  Our 18 year old BPD daughter often has suicidal periods, and has been hospitalized many times. 

What are the mental health services like where you live?  Are there services for teens?  Maneuvering the adult system is difficult at her age.

Is your daughter on meds to help with her depression?  Does your area have an outpatient program that can help you? 

Sorry to throw so many things at you all at once.  I know how lost we were at first, and felt like we only got one piece of the puzzle each time... .so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel! 

Please keep writing.  I've found that the support here is invaluable!  You are not alone!
Hugs,
1hope

[Sapphire001]

Really feel for you - even at 14, when they are still legally a child, it's impossible to make them do something against their will.

my son is 20, probable BPD, and he's turned down all the help that's on offer because it's not for him, as far as he's concerned. The only way he sees of easing his pain is to die but he admits he can't actually bring himself to do it. All I can do is hope beyond hope that one day something will click, something will turn things around and he'll start to accept help and engage with it.

Hoping things turn around for you too, because I totally get how soul destroying it must be.