Parent coping strategies needed - TIA.

[Wendall]

Hi there. This is long overdue. I think we thought she was just being a brat and could control herself. It's pretty clear now she can't. And she's ill. Our daughter (actually I'm her step parent) was diagnosed with BPD in 2013. She is very high functioning and has resisted treatment and therapy. Today, she is at risk of losing her infant baby for erratic, irrational and reckless behavior. Every day is a new trauma and drama. This week, she says she was raped. Last month she went to the ER in an ambulance for overdosing on pills - but taking just enough that wouldn't kill her. (She googled the dosage.) She is seeing a state-given doctor who prescribed meds that we feel don't agree with her. Due to doctor-patient privilege and confidentiality we have no voice in her treatment. We are convinced more than ever that DBT is the answer. How do we encourage or influence someone who has no interest in getting well? TIA.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Wendall

Welcome to the parents forum    I'm so sorry o hear what you are going through with your daughter right now the drama you've been party to. I've leant I can not fix it for her, I can stand with her. The plus right now is your daughter is receiving medical support and hopefully they'll recommend forward treatment that includes DBT, schema menalisation. DBT is working for my 29DD over the last 2 years. First was getting the meds right, it took time, what's happening with your daughters meds? My daughter is an adult, I know how hard it is standing back and hoping they are getting they deserve. Do you think your daughter is near the point that getting well is her best way forwards?

You are not alone  

WDx

[Wendall]

Hi WD, Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Standing with her. That would be a new approach for us - we have been fighting her bc we are in denial; we believe she can control it all and chooses not to. As for the meds, my concern is she is not giving her doctor the right info to prescribe properly. She is very clever, very manipulative - and frankly - her perception is her reality. Not necessarily THE reality. As parents, we have no rights to be involved in her treatment or recovery - the doctors won't talk to us - and don't seem to care about history; only what symptoms she is presenting now. Right now, wellness doesn't look like a priority for her. It seems she's gotten worse in the last six months - her behavior started representing itself about 3 months after the baby arrived. So for sure, a touch a postpartum depression... .Ugh, so challenging.