10 years and I need to leave

[Saling]

Good morning
This is my first post even though I’ve been reading post here for years. I have finally come to the realization that I’m enabling my partner and NOT helping her recover. I’ve also come to terms with the thought that I am probably a trigger and a misdirected anger target for her. Problem is she has regressed so far that I am her sole care provider and means of financial support. We are both in therapy individually and on meds. My/our support team has really pulled through the last week since I have left the house but, for her it’s not enough she is clinging tight to me be her crutch. I am attempting no contact and it SUCKS. I need to divorce her, this is agreed upon by family dr’s AND tarro cards (I’m grasping at straws here).

ANY help, advice, support or kindred spirit would be welcomed and greatly appreciated.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Sailing, 



I like your username. The waters really turbulent right now for you and I’m sorry that you’re going through this. There will be smoother sailing but that’s going to take time. I’m glad that you thought of us and decided to join.

You’ve been in a r/s with a pwBPD for a long time, you probably have a lot of stories to share with us. I’m looking forward to reading your posts.

Does you STBX work? I know no contact is hard at first, especially when you’re the one that initiated it. A pwBPD become frantic because of their fear of abandonment. I take that you don’t have kids together if you are in NC? Do you have a lawyer?

[Tattered Heart]

Are you wanting to try to improve your relationship or are you sure that you want to end the relationship?

[Saling]

Are you wanting to try to improve your relationship or are you sure that you want to end the relationship?

In my heart, I know that the growing she needs to do will be hard for her to do with me around so I feel torn for lack of a better word. I want to be with her when she is on a positive path but can not stick by her through the abuse :-(

[Saling]

Hi Sailing, 



I like your username. The waters really turbulent right now for you and I’m sorry that you’re going through this. There will be smoother sailing but that’s going to take time. I’m glad that you thought of us and decided to join.

You’ve been in a r/s with a pwBPD for a long time, you probably have a lot of stories to share with us. I’m looking forward to reading your posts.

Does you STBX work? I know no contact is hard at first, especially when you’re the one that initiated it. A pwBPD become frantic because of their fear of abandonment. I take that you don’t have kids together if you are in NC? Do you have a lawyer?

No Contact SUCKS! Really it is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do especially since I have strong tendencies to want to "save" and and holding as much compassion for her as I can right now being that I still need to pay the bills. It is a fine line I am walking here.