Hi En1gma,
Your question has been asked by many members since I’ve been on these boards. You like many members here have big hearts - caretakers. It’s completely understandable that you want to try to help. It’s very noble.
It’s good that you pose your question to the board because you can get a different perspective. Let’s flip the roles around, ask yourself how that would feel like if someone told you that they think that you’re mentally ill with a personality disorder that to this day still has a heavy stigma attached to it.
How would you react?
The real answer to your question is, it depends.
- Is the person genuinely concerned about my wellbeing
- Do I trust you? Will this be kept private?
- How self aware am I
After my ex BPD romantic interest dumped me I contacted her and mentioned what I discovered while dating. Without anger I suggested therapy and some of my concerns. She thanked me and seemed very self aware and that recently other close friends suggested the same. She mentioned I was the only person that was smart enough to catch on (probably a lie but it felt good). She mentioned it was hard to find a therapist that was a good fit for her (evidently she’s been to a therapist before). I was probably dumped because I was very keen to red flags and I was open to her about what I was seeing. I would like to approach her again however, the farther I dive down the rabbit hole of BPD the less enthusiastic I am to bother. I’m concerned about her safety and the welfare of future people involved with her more than anything. Part of me wants to help yet I think, it’s really none of my business at this point.
