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Author Topic: Part 1: I am done  (Read 1182 times)
jones54
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« Reply #30 on: February 06, 2018, 11:26:34 AM »

It has only gotten worse. My DD had to leave the condo where her friend was at after he was sent to jail. I guess he never owned it. She packed up all her few possessions and and drove 5 hours to try to stay with her 94 year old grandmother. Stayed there one nigh and was told she had to leave. Debated driving to Florida but was too afraid. Stormed out of her grandmother's to drive back to home in the dark. Began drinking while she was driving. Had agreed to come back to a homeless shelter. Got close to home and was in an accident. Hit a semi per her. Totaled her car! Sent to ER but no serious injuries. She was drinking and they never arrested her for this! Wanted to just leave her there at the ER but they asked they we come get her. Her mother and I picked her up and dropped her at a motel for the night. We will not let her stay with us. She was left with her possessions and was to call a taxi to take her to a homeless shelter next day. She texts me saying she is so sore from the accident and feels so bad from opiate withdrawal. Drama, drama, drama. I have no clue what she is going to do but I no longer care because she does not care at all. This is probably the 5th car she has totaled. This is going to make it all the harder for her but she did this to herself. If this is not rock bottom I do not what is unless she dies. I give up. I want nothing to do with her at this point. I tried to remove myself from her but she snuck back with all her chaos. I want her to just leave me alone. Who knows what her next move (or no move will be). I do not care. I am so fed up with her. My anxiety about her has turned to anger. I just need to leave her be. It is up to her if she wants something different. I just do not know if she really cares. That is what is so sad.
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1hope
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« Reply #31 on: February 06, 2018, 05:55:25 PM »

Jones,
I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter's life/choices continue to be so chaotic!  It is so hard to watch our "kids" make these choices, when it seems so obvious to us.  I'm coming to terms with the idea that MY reality is not HER reality.  Her reality is based on emotions, while mine is based on concrete things/facts.  I can't "help her" see things differently.  I can't "make her" go to therapy, take meds, think differently... .all I can do is use the skills I am learning, validate, and try to exist in my "new reality". 
Hoping for better days ahead for you.  Take care of yourself!
1hope
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« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2018, 05:51:50 AM »

Hi jones

I too am sorry it's gotten worse, she snuck back with all her chaos, what an emotional pull for you - is an understatement, I'd feel angry too, and sad. Did your daughter make it to the homeless shelter jones? Sometimes these are the places where they can get the help and support if they are willing to take it, knowing that's the only option available to them.

How are you jones?

WDx
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« Reply #33 on: February 11, 2018, 10:12:12 AM »

I’m so very sorry Jones , I’ve been there too , feeling just so sick and tired and angry at my DD ,  just wanting her to go away and for my life to be rid of her and her crap  I’d never say any of this out loud to anyone but I know I’m amongst friends here who “ get it “. Admittedly those feelings above were only short lived and temporary before i was ready to jump on the bandwagon again , but we as parents just get so worn down and emotionally beaten into a pulp . And when it’s never ending with no hope for change in sight , it’s just gut wrenching.
If my DD starts to falter again ( and I’m sure she will , she’s still young , still has a lot of growing up to do and I’ve no doubt she will struggle to cope with all that life throws ), I feel I will be better prepared to deal with it.
At the moment and for the last few months , I’m enjoying some normality without the chaos and drama ( and long may this last !) , but if my DD ‘s choices and behaviors were to deteriorate again and be relentless over an extended period of years  with no reprieve as they have been for you ,  I would be exactly where you are now , without a shadow of a doubt . I’m probably still in the baby stages still of having to contend with this BPD entering my daughter’s life uninvited !

I second WD’s question... .how are you and are you now focusing on yourself and moving forward with your own life ? You deserve it you know  
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« Reply #34 on: February 11, 2018, 03:25:54 PM »

Hello Jones54,
Please don’t apologize! As your friends and therapist have said, you have done so much for your daughter with the hope that’s she’d get better. I don’t think you are addicted- that’s what parents do, we work and give and give because we wish for the very best. It sounds like you’ve taken a great deal of emotional abuse. This is your time to heal. Our children who suffer from this affliction have a way of taking so much from us that often we feel there’s little left of us. When that happens, when we feel empty, the best thing we can do is what you are doing right now. You are stepping back and taking care of your own mental, emotional and spiritual well being. I hope your daughter finds herself in this new space and that you find respite.
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jones54
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« Reply #35 on: February 20, 2018, 09:17:44 AM »

Thanks to everyone for their supportive posts. I honestly have never felt so low with this entire situation. She did go to the homeless shelter finally after spending 2 nights in a motel (drinking). I told her to take a taxi to the shelter. I said I would no longer help in any way. She kept calling and manipulating me for a ride (said she had no money... .a lie). I broke down and gave her a ride to the shelter. Wrong thing to do. My fiance/girlfriend has had it with me because she feels I will never stop stepping in to help. Well, she has been in the shelter for the last 2 weeks. Se kept texting me and I finally had to block her calls and texts. Her mother had already done it. I told her I did not want to hear from her till she got her act together.  I have friend who works at the shelter and he told me last night she check her self in to the local psychiatric hospital 2 days ago. Told them she was "suicidal". My friend said it was just an excuse to get out of the shelter but is a step forward. He feels they will push for her to go someplace for inpatient rehab. Will probably be in another part of the State since they feel it would be best she go elsewhere (not close to her heroin dealers). Reportedly another person who works at the shelter  said she stopped the heroin. I do not feel she has hit "rock bottom" but is close. I need to be glad the she took a step forward to the psych hospital. She is doing this on her own. Her mother and I have never stepped this far away having nothing to do with her. It is so difficult for me not fully knowing what is going on but I have to do this at this point. If I don't nothing will ever change. I have heard of others on this site who have not had any communication with their loved one. I am not the first. I need to be patient and let her figure her life out. She is safe in the hospital and I pray she will follow thru with what they recommend. I also pray I can keep myself together.
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« Reply #36 on: February 20, 2018, 05:08:08 PM »

Jones,
Keep coming here to vent... .we're all here for you!  You are going through your own crisis, and are doing what you know is right!  Try to remain strong... .and if you feel like you might slip, let us know and we'll help where we can.
Hoping you find some peace today,
1hope
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« Reply #37 on: February 20, 2018, 05:47:40 PM »

jones

I echo 1Hope coming here daily for support - turned my head in the right direction.

jones You are a wonderful father, never ever forget you are. You may not feel this as you despair, your journey this far with your daughter. You have your daughters mom with you is mega amazing.

I see some light from your post, a ray, do you?

Your DD is doing this on her own, your DD is reaching out for help, can you let her do that? You have friends working in the shelter feeding you information, fueling, calming your anxiety? Can you stand back, trust they are doing their job, watching over your loving DD?

I get your partner is exhausted like you. From what you share with us she is a diamond and loves you dearly. Precious. It must be very hard for her if your emotions are with you daughter?

At my lowest of times our wonderful parents here helped me stand up, gain my balance, I pass on to you, we are here holding you.

Small steps jones.
WDx
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« Reply #38 on: February 22, 2018, 12:26:36 PM »

Thanks so much Wendydarling and 1Hope. I really appreciate your support. At this point I am just sitting back and yes, I have to trust the people at the psych hospital. They are professionals and so I am sure they will know what is best for her. Since she is homeless, I do not feel they would just discharge her. I am hopeful she will go to a rehab that they recommend. She still has insurance since I have been paying the premium. My girlfriend feels I should be paying nothing for her but the homeless shelter recommended I keep her insurance in force so she has better opportunities for the rehab. Things are a bit better with my girlfriend. She actually has been a huge support.
  I feel I am stuck between a rock and a hard place on having her blocked. I would like to communicate with her but also know stepping back has made her make decisions to take care of herself. I know if she starts communicating with me it will either be harassing me are asking me to do something for her (always wishing otherwise that she would be contrite and nice).  Neither of these responses is good. I guess I just would like to know what is going on. My friend at the homeless shelter said my daughter was befriended by one of the workers there. She is a former probation officer and knows and understands my daughter. She is the one my daughter communicated with telling her she checked herself into the psych hospital. I am hopeful she will stay in communication with this person. That really is the only way I will know what is going on. Maybe I should just let go and not be concerned if I know or not. What my daughter chooses at this point will be up to her. If she make the right choices, I am hopeful she will get her feet back on the ground and some day we will reconnect. I just fear knowing my daughter she will take all this as abandonment and stay mad and not communicate with me or her mother. I guess not till she hits rock bottom and finally take responsibility for herself will there ever be the possibility she will feel different. I pray every day that she will see the light that the situation she is in is all from her doing (drugs, not working, etc.). She is so intelligent it shocks me how she can always play the victim. I am also surprised she has not tried to e-mail me of call my home to communicate. These are not blocked. I hate this BPD and what it does to the people who have it. But as my therapist has said addiction and mental illness can get better but it is up to the individual to decide to help themselves. Those who love them can not do it for them.
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« Reply #39 on: February 24, 2018, 02:22:28 PM »

Hi jones

That's heartening to hear she's befriended the former probation officer who can validate her efforts, reinforce good behaviours, I hope they stay in touch.

As you say it's hard not knowing and then again as you've said before, she snuck in with her chaos and when she does that her focus is not on her, it's directed at you. Have you thought how you'd respond if she did make contact email/home phone, are you ready to respond? As you say you are surprised she's not tried, yet. Maybe she's got the message, she has to show she is making progress before you'll engage with her? I hope so.

Perhaps by playing the victim is her way of not taking responsibility? I've no personal experience to share here with you, my DD never considered herself a victim, blamed anyone else for her BPD. Others with a deeper understanding might help out and chime in here.

My thoughts are with you jones, and I hope you are able to use some of this time for your own healing?

WDx
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« Reply #40 on: February 26, 2018, 02:41:04 AM »

Hi Jones

I hope you don’t mind me jumping on board your thread. I know it continues to be so very tough for you all. Saying the words “they have to want to change themselves” is so easy to say but oh so much harder to watch. I found the watching unbearable. Then of course even when my son was away, not being able to watch was even more unbearable. The “not knowing” can be crippling if we let it.

My son27 was/is an addict and for many years he was a victim. He saw himself as completely helpless and useless. I think this was most of the time and it was hidden under a bravado of playing a big man role to his friends. It was a cover because he didn’t want to grow up. I would always step in and I’d flip between judging and rescuing. I’d also put myself into that victim role and as Huat says I’d have my own “pitty party”.  I finally realised that something had to change and I had to break my own cycle of behaviour because I was part of the problem.

Have you heard of the Karpman triangle? This was me for 8 years! I look back now and think  “gosh, how did it take you so long to work this out?”.  Thanks to this forum, the theory helped me understand what had been happening in my family. The theory also showed me how I could change my situation.

I allowed my son to stay a victim. There I said it. I go one step further with a slight change in wording. I assisted my son to remain a victim. The more I did for him, the more he felt he couldn’t do it himself.

I stepped out of the triangle. As you have done. And boy it’s uncomfortable isn’t it? In new territory and a little confused, contradictory; my own emotions playing with my head. My innate need to know, to fix, to do things that he needed to do himself was at times so overpowering. I found a way to stay strong, inch by inch.

I found it useful to keep posting here. It helped me reinforce what I was doing and why. For me, that was really important because my mind can ALWAYS rationalise and then justify why I should help my son and I’d jump back into that triangle. It took a while, backwards and forwards I go but I got stronger and better at leaving my son to his own life.

My situation was different but no less complicated than others here. My son took a tiny step for himself because I stopped enabling him with money. I’ve seen a domino effect and he’s no longer feeling helpless, he’s in control of his life and now working. We’ve gone from a state of delicacy, of that feeling everything can fall apart to one of more stable footing. Jones, you’ve placed your first block down and now you’ve got to cement it in for yourself. Then you stand on it and get used to this new normal, get yourself prepared for the next challenge your daughter will bring you. You stand firm, overcome it and place another block on top and cement it in. You get on it, the view gets nicer as it’s only from a distance that you can see the tiny improvements being made and onwards and upwards it goes. Hopefully, your daughter will watch and learn. My experience is that my son did.

I’m amazed with my son. He wasn’t helpless. He was a lot stronger than either of us knew.

You’re a great dad. We all are doing our best. You’re so right, the hardest part is watching them fall apart. Then need to learn how to stitch themselves back together while we learn how to support them in a different way. I’m glad you’re here.

Hugs

LP
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« Reply #41 on: February 27, 2018, 11:57:41 AM »

Thanks for everyone's input. Lollypop, I feel her playing the victim is such a detriment to her recovery. It is my understanding that she continues to speak negatively about both her parents. She is still the victim. She is now back at the shelter and I think she understands she needs to go someplace for rehab but has not decided when and where to go. For once in her life she has to make this decision. Her parents have always decided in the past. I am told that having no contact with her is the right thing to do at this point and not change our position on this. She did e-mail a few days ago and asked "did you block me on your phone?". I did not respond. She sent and e-mail last night which was negative stating what a bad father I was because when I picked her up at the ER I did not seem concerned about her accident and was just mad at her. She continues to find fault in me. I am told this will never change until she gets sober and takes responsibility for herself.  Lollypop, I wonder how long and at what point did your son look at life differently? I agree that I have to stay strong and stay out of her life at this point. I was told last night by my friend at the homeless shelter that her getting "rock bottom" was getting very close. It will be when she finally runs out of all her money. I had suggested to him to offer her to go to a rehab she had lived at here in town (this was so many years back). He called and said she did not want to go back there since it "did not work for her". I guess I just need to stay out of this completely. Hardest thing for me to do, but necessary. She has stayed at the shelter and I am told she is being good. She just has so much anger towards her parents. I wish she would work the AA steps and get to the point to see that all her troubles are from her poor choices. I need to be patient. She seems to agree that she needs to go someplace for her addiction. I think she just does not want to make the jump yet to do this. I know the shelter will eventually push her to make a decision. She eventually will have to give in. I just wish it was sooner than later. I need to continue to let go and let things play out the way God has planned them. She has been in the shelter for 3 weeks now. My friend said he felt within 4 weeks something will change. They say "patience is a virtue". This is truly a virtue I am lacking in.
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« Reply #42 on: February 27, 2018, 03:22:57 PM »

Hi jones

It took my son 3.5 weeks to organise one days casual work. I’d stopped giving him money. My situation was different in that he’d returned home. His drug skunk, opiates in time of extreme stress. I offered free bed and board - cigarettes etc were all down to him to provide. It was slow progress on his part and possible through stability at home. My progress too as I practised my new skills learnt here. I stopped talking about problems and his drug use. My boundary was no drug use in the house. Now he lives independently it took him 3 months to work out his habit is unsustainable. He learns by consequences. I wait with patience accepting that he may never be drug free - he will have to find his own way to live. I’m not prepared nor can I afford to financially support an addict. I’ve faith he’ll find a way - he’s responded to the responsibility for himself (finally!).

I’m heartened to hear you’re staying strong. I’m thinking about you and hope your daughter responds positively very soon. Please let us know how you get on.

LP
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« Reply #43 on: March 06, 2018, 10:55:03 AM »

Tomorrow it will 4 weeks that my 32 dd has been at the homeless shelter. I have been told that she is close to running out of money and may soon decide she wants to do something different. It is agreed by the people at the homeless shelter she would be best sent to a 90 day rehab due to her heroin addiction. Someone from a previous rehab she had attended years ago was supposed to possibly talk to her. This location was offered to her a couple weeks ago but she declined. I am hoping and praying that she has a change of heart and gives in. In all the years past it was her parents who would come and rescue her. She was placed in multiple rehabs by us but has never asked to go herself. This is what we have been waiting for the past 6 months that she would finally hit "rock bottom" and throw the towel in. I was getting concerned that she was getting used to the homeless shelter and had no interest in changing her life. I was reassured yesterday that this was not true and she would rather not be there. She has mentioned that she simply wants to get a job but the shelter has told her she would never pass the drug test for a job. They continue to encourage her to seek rehab. She has been in so many rehabs before that I am not sure she wants to go thru it again. But she has to understand and tell herself that she will never get a restart on her life unless she gets sober first. So hard to do with addiction to heroin but many have done it if they want it bad enough. Very difficult for me and her mother because we want to communicate and talk to her but have been instructed by the therapist and the shelter to not speak with her. She needs to figure this out on her own. Very painful waiting for her to decide. Also feel she is still mad at her parents and continues to blame us for everything. I have blocked her texts but not her e-mails. She has not sent any negative e-mails which I feel is a small positive. She asked about her cat which is being cared for by her mother. Tough not to be able to respond. She then e-mailed and asked why I was not responding to this simple question. I can only go by the experts and stay away as the recommend. If she decides to go to rehab I struggle when to reconnect. I guess the rehab people would best answer that. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself. I was told within maybe 2 weeks she will probably decide to make a decision since her "circle is tightening". I hope and pray that God will give her the strength  to finally ask Him for help and go to rehab.
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« Reply #44 on: March 06, 2018, 11:34:17 AM »

You need a hug, Jones54, and here is one from me ((HUG) !

I sincerely hope you are feeling the support from this community.  Your story could be the story of any one of us... .and IS, sadly, the story for some. I am glad that you also are working with a therapist and the people at the shelter. 

From the get-go with this thread of yours, I have been impressed that you and your Ex are pulling together.  That, alone, is important for your daughter to see.

Stay confident in the knowledge that you are doing the best you can in this situation.  Whatever your daughter decides to do will be HER decision and there are consequences... .good and bad.

Hang in there, Jones54!

Huat
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« Reply #45 on: March 06, 2018, 03:42:09 PM »

Hi Jones  

4 weeks in and 2 weeks or so to go, you are nearly there jones. It's painful beyond, until I recognised it was the kindest, loving act I ever handed back to, gifted my DD, standing back to allow her to reach out for help, like you are.

You are both doing your very best, you have a great team of professionals with you. How are you managing with your daily life, work, your family, keeping it together?

As Huat says our community of parents and the bpdfamily are here walking with you, every step.

Hope and courage  

WDx

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« Reply #46 on: March 08, 2018, 01:52:00 AM »

To: I am done.
Reading your post was so familiar.
I detached several years ago from my adult daughter. So many of your feelings are mirrored with all of us members. We all feel for you - you did not make this mess - yet you keep trying to clean it up. We all do. We all want to fix what is broken. but even with the finest doctors and the best med's money can buy, and more money than you could afford, there is no fix.
No fault of your own, You have done your duty and you should be proud. Missymoo
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« Reply #47 on: March 08, 2018, 11:18:06 AM »

Thanks for everyone's posts. I do appreciate the support. Wendydarling, it has not been easy with work, family,etc. I have a hard time not thinking about it. I was getting my hopes up (bad idea) when I was told it was getting close that she would probably breakdown and go to rehab only to find out yesterday she again refused to meet with someone at the rehab facility. She simply stated she wanted to continue to "look at her options". I am not sure what that meant but probably she did not want to give up her freedom to do what she wants to do (including drugs I suspect). Sleeping on a rubber mat and eating at a soup kitchen is not something I would think would be enjoyable but at this point my DD accepts this. I do think when the money runs out it will be more difficult for her. She had maybe $400 when she went to the shelter. She reportedly has been selling items but she does not own much at this point. I found out that her older male friend who she was living with and was thrown in jail will not get out till May 17. This is good because I suspect if he was getting out soon she would wait it out in the shelter and move back with him. He is a terrible enabler.
All I can do is continue to sit back and try to let go. My sitting around wanting so badly for her to decide to go to rehab is not healthy for me. It just depresses me. I need to just let go as I had planned many months ago. Just difficult because the person I know at the homeless shelter often feels she is "getting close" to asking for help only to have her say no when they approach her. Maybe not know anything till something positive happens.  Hard to believe she would stay in this situation for more than 2 months but who knows. She leads a life so different than me. She always has. I honestly do not like who she is despite the fact that I love her as my daughter. I need to again focus on the fact that this is her life to have not the one I wanted for her. These are her choices. I have to let go of expectations and trying to play out in my head what will happen and just accept what happens, good or bad. May daughter a few years back wrote down her life story hoping to get it published. She is a prolific writer. A publisher actually thought it was excellent but since it did not have a positive ending and no redeeming value it was not ready. She is very proud of what she wrote. I only wish she could get her act together and write that last chapter in her book.
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« Reply #48 on: March 10, 2018, 05:08:26 AM »

Hi jones

You're right being told by others she's close, raising your hope, when she's not close enough to make her choice, yet, she’s considering her options.  We all hope she’s strength to help herself, she has people who care and are listening. 

It’s hard not thinking about it and when you do you get depressed, I also see you working hard at acceptance as you share your thoughts and feelings here with us, continue to sit back and let go, it's a process.

How do you spend your time with the family?

It’s great to hear your daughter has her writing talent and she’s proud of her accomplishment, I hope she completes her book, to know it’s waiting for her.

WDx
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« Reply #49 on: March 11, 2018, 04:47:08 PM »

Thank you for your support.
I appreciate it.
Missymoo xoxo
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« Reply #50 on: March 12, 2018, 01:52:36 AM »

Thank you for sharing your story. I am headed down the same path of sorts, getting ready to accept that we are going to have to go no contact, as it just seems to make things worse for now. I just don't know how I am going to do it with three small grandkids involved. That's the kicker. I guess if she ends up in a really bad social situation, I will just have to believe that social services will be able to contact us to care for the kids. How is their life going to turn out? Is it a never ending circle?
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
jones54
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« Reply #51 on: March 13, 2018, 01:11:17 PM »

Yat4,
Sorry to hear about your situation. Having no contact on my part has been the most difficult thing for me. I am fortunate that their are no Grandchildren involved. That, I am sure, only complicates things. The no contact has been repeatedly reinforced by the therapist as well as the homeless shelter who want her to go to rehab as well. I am even fearful to contact her in that all the negative texts will start up again. I just feel she is dragging this out as long as she can because she does not want to give up her drugs unless she absolutely has to.
Wendydarling,
I really do not have much family to spend time with. I only have another son who lives 3 hours away. He is happily married and they are expecting their first grandchild. I will be a first time grandfather soon but honestly I should be more excited. All that is going on with my daughter has been a real drag on me for soo long. I also live alone. I have been engaged to the same women for 10 plus years. She has never been married but also due to all the chaos with my daughter she is afraid. Not sure why she did not step away years ago. She has been very supportive but at this time is fed up with my daughter and how I have reacted to the whole situation. I am probably not much fun to be around lately. I am honestly tired of everything and how it has affect my life in every way. Everyone has told me to focus on me and I have been trying to do this. I have tried working on radical acceptance. I just simply want something positive to happen since for the last 6 months it all seems to be negative in the way this is all playing out. I do appreciate being able to vent here because honestly other people do not understand the way others here do.
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wendydarling
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« Reply #52 on: March 13, 2018, 03:04:26 PM »

Hey jones

You are getting there - do you see that? Your T and the shelter are helping you not fall in the pit, mud? It's painful pushing through I get that, been there. I have one child, many parents here are in your situation BPD child taking over their relationship with their non BPD children and their partner, H, W, their life. Lollypop for one, join her on the Happy Mothers Day thread, time to shift the focus to her younger son who is missing her?

I ask you 2 Q's here, taking your BPD DD out of the picture

1) what do you want, need from your 10 yr partner relationship? You live alone? What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
2) Ditto above for your son.

They are looking to you to get out of your pit to be with them?

WDx



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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
Impala

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« Reply #53 on: March 13, 2018, 09:39:41 PM »

Sorry to hear of your struggles with your daughter.  It's quite eye opening to read that you are struggling with your daughter and she is now 30.  You are right, we get addicted to them.  We hope and wish that they will someday change and be normal, but without intense therapy that day will never come with this disorder.  For me my hope was my daughter would grow out of it but she didn't, she is 19 and has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.  Everyone would tell me "oh it's just teenage girls" but I knew it was different. 

You have to take care of yourself, if your daughter doesn't want to help herself with therapy then you have to draw your boundaries. 
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Lollypop
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« Reply #54 on: March 14, 2018, 03:27:54 AM »

Hi

I thought I’d throw in my voice.

My own experience is that drug use really complicates the situation. Drugs hinder emotional development. That said, I believe, with a better core relationship (no judgments), mutual respect, emotional support and boundaries it is possible for them to find their own way to live. I go one step further - I know it.

My son27 is now living his own life but he stays close to us (literally living in the same lane). It’s working out for now. He still smokes skunk, he does not seek therapy. However, he’s growing by having responsibility for himself, learning by consequence. He was a slow learner because of the interference of his heightened emotions/thoughts AND me hindering his development by me doing things for him he should have been doing himself. He’s coping and more resilient.

To get to this point took a lot of little tiny steps, consistent and persistent over a few years. It took me to change myself and how I reacted.

There’s a proven way here. There’s no guarantees. I took a leap of faith and committed myself to change myself. I’m a better person for it, I’m happier too.

There’s hope. I encourage you to get yourself a simple plan - it helped me not sweat the small stuff.

Jones: I hope soon that she feels she can make better choices. If and when she does, she’s going to need you to be a different parent. This is a good time to do your homework, build a better life for yourself so your family can benefit if they desire it.

There are no quick fixes. I’m a happier person, my son27 is happier - despite the problems.

Hugs

LP





 
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« Reply #55 on: March 15, 2018, 05:39:58 AM »

 Staff only


Bullet: important point (click to insert in post)"This thread has reached its posting limit. Feel free to continue the conversation by posting a New Topic. Have a great day."
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