Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
December 22, 2024, 03:23:16 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: 1 2 [3]  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Running away for the holidays  (Read 2726 times)
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #60 on: January 21, 2018, 03:11:49 PM »

But it is confusing!  With all the push/pull, I have no idea what she wants.

She emptied my account out, but there was only like $100 in there.  So pretty fair for a tire.

I was referring to her saying she was confused by your actions.

However... better to stay away from invalidation and say it isn't confusing.

Put your value out there and let it go.

"I'm not able to talk with hurtful comments between us."

FF
Logged

formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #61 on: January 21, 2018, 03:13:25 PM »



Second issue:

Are you evaluating the financial risk you are exposing yourself to by allowing her access to "your" money?

I've cut all financial ties with my wife.  She has to ask me for money... .no ability to "take" it.

FF
Logged

prof
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 233


WWW
« Reply #62 on: January 21, 2018, 03:20:03 PM »

"I'm not able to talk with hurtful comments between us."

Cool -- I sent her that text.

Are you evaluating the financial risk you are exposing yourself to by allowing her access to "your" money?

I've cut all financial ties with my wife.  She has to ask me for money... .no ability to "take" it.

We do have separate accounts, but through the same bank and we share our passwords with each other.  So it's easy to transfer money back and forth.  Most of the time this is very convenient, but this is at least the second time she's done it without my initial consent.

The first time (this summer), I changed my password for a while.  I eventually shared it with her again as a show of trust while we were patching things back up.

I think it's likely that I'll change it again soon.  (Although it's pointless until I get paid later this week -- there's nothing to take!)
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



WWW
« Reply #63 on: January 21, 2018, 04:08:45 PM »


So... if it is "just" one time before and this time that she took it without asking... .perhaps I would consider offering it again as part of a future "patch up".

Once "they" get used to dysfunctional habits... .it's really hard to break.

So... asked another way, how did sharing your password turn out?  Did she become trustworthy?

Oh wait... you shared it... .likely because she said YOU were not trustworthy... .hmmmm

Right?

FF
Logged

prof
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 233


WWW
« Reply #64 on: January 21, 2018, 09:49:59 PM »

So... if it is "just" one time before and this time that she took it without asking... .perhaps I would consider offering it again as part of a future "patch up".

Once "they" get used to dysfunctional habits... .it's really hard to break.

So... asked another way, how did sharing your password turn out?  Did she become trustworthy?

Oh wait... you shared it... .likely because she said YOU were not trustworthy... .hmmmm

Right?

The password sharing actually was just for convenience.  "Hey, I need twenty bucks but I'm broke -- mind if I transfer myself some?", etc.

However, she definitely has said that I'm not trustworthy.  Many, many times!
Logged
prof
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 233


WWW
« Reply #65 on: January 22, 2018, 08:03:25 AM »

uBPDw sent a number of texts and called late last night/this morning.  Very "pull"-y.  For example,

Excerpt
Do you love me? ... .I just want to know if you love me.  ... .I don't deserve the silent treatment.

I just responded that I do love her, and suggested we talk this afternoon when I get home from work.
Logged
prof
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 233


WWW
« Reply #66 on: January 22, 2018, 08:31:45 PM »

She came back, and crazy stuff went down.  I've decided to switch to the Detaching board.  Thread here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=319917
Logged
Radcliff
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3377


Fond memories, fella.


« Reply #67 on: January 25, 2018, 01:13:45 AM »

Staff only

This thread has reached its posting limit, and is therefore locked. Please feel free to continue the discussion in a new thread. Thanks for your participation.

WW
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: 1 2 [3]  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!