Two young kids with BP parent

[Hoprockin]

I just recently discovered my fiance is BPD. I am just learning about the disorder. She has me walking on eggshells and I am really worried about the damage she is inflicting on my kids. How do I stop the negativity without saying anything bad about their mom?

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[JoeBPD81]

hi there Hoprockin!

You've come to the right place, we here know about that worry, the walking on eggshels and the colateral damage we fear our kids will get.

I live with my BPD-GF and she has 2 kids (6 and 11). I didn't have any and we don't have one in common. What is your situation? You said "my kids" and then "their mom", so I'm a bit confused. How old are the kids?

Take some time to navigate this place. There are very important lessons and tools that make life better, for everyone. We influence the family, but we can only change ourselves. 1st we stop adding to the negativity, as you said, then we start puting some bricks for building a better relationship. There are no shortcuts. And accepting that can also bring you some peace.

Please tell us more about your situation. writing about it helps a lot.

[pearlsw]

Hi Hoprockin,

Welcome to the community. May I ask if you are already living with your fiancee or not? Just trying to get a picture of things... .How long have you been engaged? Do you think you'll actually get married? I just ask because at the time I didn't understand it, but my "h" broke things off many times before we "married". Is that kind of thing happening to you too? (I hope not!)

What worries you most about the kids? Are they seeing things that you wish they weren't seeing?

wishing you peace, pearl.