Just saw my ex walking down the street with a different guy... Blah

[Depression = 72% of members]

It is that dreaded moment for many of us. I just saw my ex walking Main Street in my town with another man. Even two years out of the relationship and I'm not taking this well. Of course, this is not the man that she left me for (she left me for her xBF) but I'm still in shock. I have been strict NC since the end of the relationship so I have absolutely no clue what is going on in her life. All those haunting feelings that I have worked so so hard to mitigate in my life are rushing back through me at the moment. I know this will pass and I will get grounded again but I'm not feeling good right now. Makes me want to reach out to her. Can't believe this is hitting me so hard - Thought I was stronger.

[FlyFish]

It is that dreaded moment for many of us. I just saw my ex walking Main Street in my town with another man. Even two years out of the relationship and I'm not taking this well. Of course, this is not the man that she left me for (she left me for her xBF) but I'm still in shock. I have been strict NC since the end of the relationship so I have absolutely no clue what is going on in her life. All those haunting feelings that I have worked so so hard to mitigate in my life are rushing back through me at the moment. I know this will pass and I will get grounded again but I'm not feeling good right now. Makes me want to reach out to her. Can't believe this is hitting me so hard - Thought I was stronger.

[valet]

Hey FlyFish, want to describe those haunting feelings a bit more?

Talking about them might be a good way to work through them.

[Mutt]

Hi FlyFish,



I understand how seeing your ex would trigger a need to talk to her. You’ve been doing good with two years of NC she’s been in two r/s’s since yours. Think about reasons why you would want to reach out? What would you gain from talking to her while she’s in a new r/s?

[Harley Quinn]

Hi FlyFish,

Sorry to hear that you had this shock.  Was this the first time that you had seen her since you went NC?  I saw my ex with a new (again not the first replacement) woman only about 3 months after we split.  It was a surreal experience to say the least.  One feeling that stood out from the rest to me was feeling freed.  What would you say stood out the most from the feelings you experienced?    

I'm wondering if mitigating the feelings after your breakup meant pushing them down a little?  I may be totally off base.  Glad you came here to post about this.  I'd love to hear how you worked through the breakup at the time and what steps you've taken in your life since.    

Love and light x

[Perdita]

I know this will pass and I will get grounded again but I'm not feeling good right now. Makes me want to reach out to her. Can't believe this is hitting me so hard - Thought I was stronger.

You are strong. Two years no contact is incredible. Having emotions after seeing her again - and with a new guy at that - doesn't make you weak. I am really sorry that you are hurting right now.  

 FlyFish, all I can tell you is that my bf and I were no contact once for 6 solid months. That was three years ago. How I wish I had your strength. Please fight the urge to establish contact again. Look at all of us on these boards. Do you really want to go back to square one again? Do you really want to become a full fledge member of our unhappy club again?