Xyz,
I can only share my experiences, truly, because the choices you make belong to you. In my experience, with my BPDh, experiences seem circular. That is, a cycle of good, crisis, semi make up, then back to good. Mine particularly enjoys his power to make me cry. Round and around. Doesn't really matter what the topic is, it's just a somewhat predictable cycle of relational on and off, but in a steady, downward decline of healthy. There are small gains and major losses. I have lost a lot of myself. And blurred my values and severely altered the route to my personal life goals. But nearly all and the worst of that happened in the context of marriage, which changed everything logistically, financially, legally, etc. for me, limiting my options, because he succeeded in isolating me and making me financially dependent on him, since I wanted to be a stay home mom. I only saw a little bit before the wedding. So truly, I'm not sure what to do with a BPD boyfriend. Maybe others here have better experience there. Warmly, and best wishes, Dig.
Dig,
Your story really interests me. It is easier for me to see myself in the future still with him since everything is been so recent. Did you know about his BPD before getting married? I feel i have similar goals in life, i also want to be a stay home mom at the beginning. One thing it is very hard for him, I believe, is my independence. I am a very independent person that is confortable being myself and being by myself. We are very different in many aspects, but when we met it seemed that we had a lot of common interests, especially how we saw the world, It's being a long way since that changed in my eyes. I am a person that need my own space, my own time, and he doesn't understand it, i feel that he respects it, and prob has being working really hard on not taking it personal, because this is who i am. A lot of times, he has being pushy about things that we don't agree with, my believes, and interests and many occasions he has made me cry too. Do you think this could get worst? even if he has being working on his therapy and trying to get better for himself? I don't want to lose hope on him, just to be human, but I also have to think about my own well being. When did everything changed for you?
