New here: after 7 years struggling finally received BPD diagnosis

[tonstolearn]

Hello,  I am joining this online support community because my daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD, plus depression and anxiety.  This came about after a suicide attempt. In a odd way, it was a relief to finally have a diagnosis that made sense after 7 years of struggling to figure out why medication and CBT therapy weren't working.

I have been reading a lot about BPD since, and know there is tons more for me to learn. I hope this community can share its collective wisdom with me.

She recently spend 4 days in bed.  I haven't read in BPD literature yet that people with BPD tend to do this, so I am wondering if that is the depression vs. the BPD.

Overall... .I just want to help my daughter achieve the best life possible.  And like all parents, I just want to see her happy and healthy.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hello tonstolearn

 

Welcome to you  

Gosh that's a long 7 years struggle you and your daughter have had.   I can understand your relief I felt it too, my 29DD was also diagnosed BPD, with depression and anxiety just like your daughter and following suicide attempts 2015. She's been through DBT and is managing very well.

How has your daughter received the diagnosis? Do you think that may also contribute to her state in bed? In answer to your question, my daughter spent days, weeks in bed at times, for her I believe it was the depression, coupled with anxiety, and more, and more - she was in a very bad way. Of course I was concerned my DD she spent so much time in bed, it was obvious she was in no fit state to 'be up', she was safe and I later learnt she needed her sanctuary, knowing that I was there, for her.

Does your daughter live at home with you? Is there a treatment plan?

I'm so pleased you've joined us for support and yes there are tonstolearn here with us, if you've not already go to the top right of your screen and click start here.

We look forward to getting to know you.  

WDx

[JustYouWait]

Hello,  I am joining this online support community because my daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD, plus depression and anxiety.  

Hiya, tons!  Welcome here.  I'm sorry you had to find us, but I'm glad you found us. 

A BPD diagnosis, while tough, is often the last diagnosis we get for our kids after years of other diagnoses.  You're not alone there, many of s have walked the same awful path you're walking.  The good news is that the path is wide and well-tended by those before you, behind you, and who now walk with you.

This came about after a suicide attempt. In a odd way, it was a relief to finally have a diagnosis that made sense after 7 years of struggling to figure out why medication and CBT therapy weren't working.

Nothing odd about it.  Please don't feel guilty for feeling relief.  I know I did as well when mine got the diagnosis.  It's like, "well, this sucks, but at lease it's I KNOW what it's called.  ":)isease, I name you."  It made me feel way better, and there was guilt about feeling better about this terrible thing that's happening to my kid.

I have been reading a lot about BPD since, and know there is tons more for me to learn. I hope this community can share its collective wisdom with me.

1.  good.  reading is one of the keys.
2.  yes, learning is important, see #1.
3.  oh, we will.  just ask, and we will talk to you, with you, or not,.  if you just want to come sit on the giant couch of BPD survivors, c'mon down.  We have cookies.
4.  I'm not trying to be flippant - but humor is my defense mechanism.  I feel like it's like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded - I have no idea when it's going to end, where it's going to end, nor how it's going to end, so laugh when you can.

She recently spend 4 days in bed.  I haven't read in BPD literature yet that people with BPD tend to do this, so I am wondering if that is the depression vs. the BPD.

Um... .both?  And yes, it can be both.

Overall... .I just want to help my daughter achieve the best life possible.  And like all parents, I just want to see her happy and healthy.

We all do, for yours and ours.

Again, welcome.  Look around.

Ask questions, listen to what we have to say, and then take the advice or don't.  Either way is fine.

If you need anything, holler.  I'll be over on the couch.

Probably laughing at something inappropriate.


-jyw

[Huat]

Hi Tonstolearn.     I join the others above in welcoming you.

Sadly, our daughter (now 51) has never received an official diagnosis of BPD (that we know of, anyway).  With that said, I do know the feeling of "relief" you write about.  The first book we were advised to read was "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me."  I really did cry when I read that book.  Anything else I have read after that has just helped to confirm in my mind that it is highly probable  this is her ailment... .or one of them.

So much of your daughter's journey to wellness is going to depend on her... .her willingness to accept therapy and then work with the tools she will be given.  You will have your own journey and it will be exhausting at times but so important to keep putting one foot in front of the other as you learn and use the tools available to you.  The info to the right  is so useful and there are links to more.

I hope you keep sharing with us, Tonstolearn.   Comfort can be found in just putting thoughts/hurts into words... .important words that others may need to hear to help them on their journey.  Along with that comes validation and support from the other parents who are part of this community.

((HUGS) to you!

Huat