I got split back to white. Will she move on?

[randomuser94]

   Due to their emotions beeing always on the extreme, can they leave you after you're splited white again? I;m lost on whether i should try to move on or wait for her.
After a very heartbreaking period of break-up due to splitting(and her 'needing some space', things seemed to go very strong between us(in terms of feelings) but right now it feels like it's completly over.
Long story short: the black spliting is over, but she can't forgive me due to how family and friends see me now. She is basically seeing me in secret. Confessed how much i mean to her, that she loves me and that I'm part of her.
 
  I've failed to give her space at some moments and later on confronted her about her 'new relation' that started right after she broke-up with me. I felt betrayed as days earlier she was confessing her eternal love.
  I've said some bad things about her and something about her mother(about her manipulating her against her father). I'm doing my best to give her some space to clear her feelings right now, only responding to her mesages and not starting any conversations. She said once she calms her mind(she is scared that someone will find out about our meetings) she will call me again to talk,hug and maybe sleep.
 She told me to leave all my clothes at our house, but at the same time told her close friends she found someone to move in...

Is it better to keep low contact right now or ask her if she wants me there? The main reason was her "fear of someone finding out". Today she told me she feels much better. I'm confused if she refers to "i feel better, we can meet more often" or "I'm doing better moving on".
  She also said that our relation is impossible to regain... maybe just the friendship. It's the 7th time i hear this from her, but this time it looks more serious

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[isilme]

Being split black, then white, is a cycle.  Literally, it's a cycle of rinse, repeat. 

Yes, she may very well split you black, then white, then black, continuously.  A challenge most of us on here are facing is trying to see how the things WE do affects this cycle, feeds it, and keeps it going. 

Only you can judge if this sounds more promising - I feel that her keeping your current contact secret is NOT a good sign, though. 

[JoeBPD81]

 She also said that our relation is impossible to regain... maybe just the friendship. It's the 7th time i hear this from her, but this time it looks more serious

It always sounds like the last. I'm sorry you are being through all this, it is very confusing. You can read the anxiety in your posts.

She seems to be moving erratically, and you try to follow her and understand her. And that's making you crazy.

What do you want? Not only for tomorrow or next week. Do you have a plan? What would it take to trust her again? What can you do so it's not the same beginning heading to the same end?

We all just want to be hugged and forget about all the drama for some time, right? She loves you, you love her, it shouldn't be that hard. I wish! In this kind of relationships we have to take a step back often, and let them figure them out. I think you are doing a good job in that. But you also need to be able to focus on yourself and reflect on what you need, during those times. Don't be just wondering what is she thinking right now, that takes all your energy (talking from experience).

OK she's gone for one hour, for 2 days... .Now it's ME time. Find ways to enjoy, to distract yourself, to tell yourself that you deserve good things. And to remind you that you are a whole person on yourself. You don't define yourself by her.

Then when she is back, you will be more ready to love her, listen to her, and say the right things.

How's that sound?

[gearshifted]

  Due to their emotions beeing always on the extreme, can they leave you after you're splited white again? I;m lost on whether i should try to move on or wait for her.
After a very heartbreaking period of break-up due to splitting(and her 'needing some space', things seemed to go very strong between us(in terms of feelings) but right now it feels like it's completly over.
Long story short: the black spliting is over, but she can't forgive me due to how family and friends see me now. She is basically seeing me in secret. Confessed how much i mean to her, that she loves me and that I'm part of her.
 
  I've failed to give her space at some moments and later on confronted her about her 'new relation' that started right after she broke-up with me. I felt betrayed as days earlier she was confessing her eternal love.
  I've said some bad things about her and something about her mother(about her manipulating her against her father). I'm doing my best to give her some space to clear her feelings right now, only responding to her mesages and not starting any conversations. She said once she calms her mind(she is scared that someone will find out about our meetings) she will call me again to talk,hug and maybe sleep.
 She told me to leave all my clothes at our house, but at the same time told her close friends she found someone to move in...

Is it better to keep low contact right now or ask her if she wants me there? The main reason was her "fear of someone finding out". Today she told me she feels much better. I'm confused if she refers to "i feel better, we can meet more often" or "I'm doing better moving on".
  She also said that our relation is impossible to regain... maybe just the friendship. It's the 7th time i hear this from her, but this time it looks more serious

I can't say for sure if she will move on or not, I just wanted to share with you that during a fairly recent recycle that I had with my exBPDgf, I noticed she basically tried to keep our hanging out as secret as possible. Didn't tell her parents, her friends, etc. It was really strange to me, but I assume its because she feels like she can't tell them because of how much time she has spent painting me black with them. Do you think that could be why yours doesn't want people to know?

[randomuser94]

I can't say for sure if she will move on or not, I just wanted to share with you that during a fairly recent recycle that I had with my exBPDgf, I noticed she basically tried to keep our hanging out as secret as possible. Didn't tell her parents, her friends, etc. It was really strange to me, but I assume its because she feels like she can't tell them because of how much time she has spent painting me black with them. Do you think that could be why yours doesn't want people to know?

That's the sad part in all of this. I got painted black and made sure anyone in her family knows "how bad i was". I've tried to talk to her about this, that untill i cracked and responded to her accusations, i kept getting hurt by her actions. Her response was that we broke-up so she didn't care about "my feelings". Furthermore she can't walk on my shoes to understand how hurt i was and why. I feel like talking to a wall on this subject.