First post - 29 year old daughter with BPD

[Pennen]

My daughter (29) suffers from BPD and bipolar disorder. She also has a 10 year old daughter.

My ex-wife (daughter's mother) also suffered from BPD.

My daughter has been in and out of therapy and treatment since she was 12. She lives on her own, but cycles from manic (where she seems to decide she no longer needs therapy or meds), to kinda OK, to depressed (where she's unable to function or get help) to finally hitting bottom, getting some kind of help, and starting the cycle over again.

During the manic and kinda OK cycles, she tends to isolate from us and we don't hear from her for weeks or months. We try to touch base on a regular basis during this, and she'll respond minimally. When she gets to the crisis state, she sometimes reaches out to us for emotional and/or financial support (paying her rent because she quit her job, and can't find another one, etc.)

She's had issues with extensive drug and alcohol abuse, worked as a stripper, been jailed for DUI (and can no longer drive), been through countless relationships, and now only has her daughter on weekends (but only by agreement with the child's father, not through any custody order).

My wife (daughter's step-mother) is incredibly supportive and involved with me in this. I've been dealing with BPD (either my ex wife or daughter) for all of my adult life. My challenge is keeping my own levels of stress, guilt, responsibility, and fear down, and being able to continue having my own happy, normal, productive life with a BP/Bipolar daughter as a constant presence.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Pennen, 

Welcome!  I'm so glad you've come and shared a bit of your story. Sounds as if you can use the support that you'll find in our community here. We've got a great place to start reading over to the right hand side of our board. ------->> >>   Click on any link and it will open up to more info.

I'm so glad to hear that your W is such a great support as you deal with your D29. What types of things do you do to help you relieve some stress? What do you do for fun that is strengthening to you?

 
Wools

[KS22]

This sounds tough. I am just behind you as my daughter is almost 17.  It is so difficult and challenging.  It sounds like you have experienced a lot.  I too, am just learning of this site.  I wonder if there is any wisdom or advice you would share with me about this upcoming transition from kid to adult.  I am really scared for these upcoming years and want to try and do all we can to support her.  I am glad you recognize you need to allow yourself happy times too.  ❤️