Is it possible for ex wBPD NOT to give you silent treatment?

[southside420]

I read a lot about BPDs that give their ex or SO the "silent" treatment and was just curious as to whether that's not present in all BPDs.

My ex says she was diagnosed with BPD after we split in November, but spent almost 4 months trying to find ways to get in contact with me. She never ignored or gave me the silent treatment and always tried to reach out, but would get extremely angry and ended up trying to ruin my life when I did not respond to her. She'd switch back and forth between telling me she loved me, wanted to be with me, we were soulmates to telling me she hated me and hoped I'd hurt for the rest of my life, among other tactics.

I finally told her 2 weeks ago that I had no idea when I'd get over the horrible things she tried to do to me, for which she was still unremorseful because "my faults were worse." She has not tried to talk to me since, but has tried to use fake social media accounts to gain access and see what I am doing in my life. Most recently, a "food picture" account where it refused to allow me to view its pictures but looks at mine constantly. The profile picture is a person wear a shirt she owns, and the account followed the only female I had added in the 4 months we split. Seems like now she wants to block me out of seeing what she's doing but still wants to keep tabs on me, all while claiming she is seeing someone new.

[once removed]

the behaviors that you read about arent unique to BPD, just tend to be more extreme with BPD. in other words, there arent any blanket answers that apply to people with BPD as a group. silent treatment was not a tactic/style/coping mechanism of my ex. it is for others. its also something ive experienced from someone who does not have BPD.

it also depends on how we define silent treatment. if someone has severed contact with us (or vice versa), and we keep trying to initiate it, thats just us chasing someone who has severed ties.

[Harley Quinn]

Once Removed makes some good points.  All sufferers are unique and many non disordered partners exhibit this type of behaviour.  Ghosting is ever increasing in every walk of life.

How did you end the final conversation?  :)oes she believe that you no longer wish to speak to her?  It is possible that she sees that as being the case.  Would you want to remain in contact?

Regards the cyber stalking, it sounds as though she is trying to establish if you are seeing someone else and perhaps is convinced in her own mind that this is the reason (rather than your valid ones) you are now apart.  This is just a guess though.  It's impossible to know what she is thinking.  What do you plan to do about the monitoring of your activity?

Love and light x

[southside420]

Once Removed makes some good points.  All sufferers are unique and many non disordered partners exhibit this type of behaviour.  Ghosting is ever increasing in every walk of life.

How did you end the final conversation?  :)oes she believe that you no longer wish to speak to her?  It is possible that she sees that as being the case.  Would you want to remain in contact?

Regards the cyber stalking, it sounds as though she is trying to establish if you are seeing someone else and perhaps is convinced in her own mind that this is the reason (rather than your valid ones) you are now apart.  This is just a guess though.  It's impossible to know what she is thinking.  What do you plan to do about the monitoring of your activity?

Love and light x

She asked me several times about two weeks ago to sit down and talk so we could move forward and work on our relationship. She had been trying to contact me for 3-4 months where I did not response and told her to stop contacting me. During those 3-4 months, she basically attempted to ruin my life by smearing me via social media/family/my job.

3 weeks ago, she asked me again to sit down and talk and that she was seeing someone and no longer would beg me to come back because I did not want that. I told her I was happy for her and to please stop contacting me. She began telling me we were soulmates and she only saw the new guy because I had disappeared, and she loved me.

I told her a week ago last Monday I did not see a future right now, I wasn't over what she did to me, and I had no idea if/when I'd be ready to talk. She went off on me, called me awful things and said she never wanted to hear from me again. 24 hours later, she apologized and said she hoped I'd contact her again someday. Part of me wants to remain in contact, but I also know that is my sense of wanting to help and support her through therapy and I know I can't spend the rest of my life checking up on her to see if she's getting treatment. She's dangerous in my eyes right now and has shown a willingness to ruin my life using whatever methods it would take.

She hasn't contacted me directly since, but that social media account followed me on Wednesday morning. Still has not allowed me to see what the 6 pictures it has posted but has looked at all 3 of the live photos I put up and was one of the first to look at them each time. I can't imagine that's NOT her. I don't know what I'll do about the stalking. Sometimes I feel like I'll never truly escape her and she will hang around until I finally break down and take her back.

If she's seeing a new person, why would she even bother with this? When we started dating, she was all in with me after the second date

[Harley Quinn]

How are things going since you last posted on this southside?

If she's seeing a new person, why would she even bother with this? When we started dating, she was all in with me after the second date

Perhaps things aren't going as well as she hoped with the new r/s.  Maybe she is feeling like there is a risk things won't work out and is checking to see what place you are in since the breakup. 

Love and light x