Good second session with new T

[JNChell]

I’m only 2 sessions in, but I really, really like the psychologist that I’m seeing. I filled her in on my involvement here. She has not heard of the site, and was neutral about my involvement. She knows what BPD is, but I sense that she is more about behavior than labeling. We touched on my past. She administered the ACE evaluation. We touched on red flags and emotional manipulators, and she seems to be into “grounding excercises”. Grounding meaning I’m right here, right now. She recommended the book “Radical Acceptance” and we talked about that for a minute. I’m completely open with her. She briefly went over emotional manipulators. The excercises that she administered today were for me to compare my childhood to where I’m at today. She told me that as we progress, therapist/client, that my answers would become broader and the number of answers that I had for each question would increase. She told me to not engage my ex unless it was about our Son. I know that I’ve heard it here, but I’ve always been a bigger fan of looking someone in the eye. I’m not knocking this sanctuary one bit. This place is so helpful. I just wanted to put this out there. What I listed is a lot to cover in one session. I get that she’s still gaining perspective on where I’m at before she can really dig in. Anyway, I’m good with this T. I think she’s going to be imperative.

[Mutt]

Hi JNChell,

Good for you that you found a P that you like. A P won’t disgnise someone unless they’re there in the room with them. I just wanted to say that there might be a time in the future where you can look her in the eye. Here’s a workshop for radical acceptance for those members that are curious about what it is

Radical Acceptance For Family Members (DBT skill)

[Harley Quinn]

Hi JNChell,

I'm pleased to hear that you have rapport with your new T.  That's a really good starting place.  Sounds like she is focused on working with you on you and meeting your needs.  This can be a strange feeling for us, after putting so much of our focus on another.  I remember sitting with my counsellor in the first session and thinking how weird and slightly uncomfortable it was actually talking about me for once.  I kept slipping into talking about my partner (at the time) and she kept steering me back to myself.  Took some getting used to.  After the second session I was in my stride and found it much easier to remain on track.  Best of luck with beginning to feel positive results from your next appointment.  How often are you going?

Love and light x

[JNChell]

Thanks, HQ. Always nice to hear from you. My next appt. is in 2 weeks. The next 4 after that are every week.

[Harley Quinn]

Great.  I found regular sessions meant that I was still fairly fresh with my thoughts following the previous session.  I'd advise having a notebook especially for your therapy where you can note down things that come up during and after your appointments.  It helps me still to refer back to these things when I need a reminder of where I was and also things I can remain conscious of.  Good on you for investing this time into yourself.  You deserve it and I hope it breeds other healthy habits of devoting time and effort into JNChell.

Love and light x

[Speck]

JNChell!

I'm so happy that you have found a T with whom you can work. This is great news, and, I hope that you can really "peel the onion" on what your main issues/traumas are with this lady. I'm still peelin' myself, and find it worth every hard-earned penny. It's the gift I give myself.

A good face-to-face with a professional listener on a frequent basis is now one of the layers of support that you are providing for yourself, and that's a mighty beautiful thing, my friend. 


-Speck

[Turkish]

What's an ACE evaluation, and how did it help?

She told me to not engage my ex unless it was about our Son.

Solid advice. It's hard to separate r/s issues from co-parenting issues.  Mixing the two can sabotage the latter,  which is what our kids need us to focus upon.  We can redirect our tendencies to be direct ("looking someone in the eye" as you say) towards the new mission: being the healthy parent and protecting our kids. 

[JNChell]

HQ,
Thanks for the advice. I think it’s a good idea to take notes at my sessions. I’ll be sure to have a notebook for my next session.   

[JNChell]

Hey Speck!
Thanks for the support. I believe that this will be priceless. I’m beyond ready to be peeling the layers back. I feel like I’m finally in a place where I have an understanding of why and where I am. I’ve seen T’s before, but I didn’t have a real understanding of myself yet, and was leaning on the T’s to figure it out for me instead of leaning on them to guide me through the healing process. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted.

[JNChell]

Hi Turkish!
Adverse Childhood Experience evaluation. It’s 10 questions used to gauge the severity of our childhood traumas. From what I understand, it was originally performed as a trial, found to be effective in determining how childhood trauma affects adults and put into practice.

It is very hard to separate the issues. That’s the biggest reason why I am adamant about parallel parenting. That won’t change anytime soon. I can’t co-coparent with someone that I’m afraid of, and I won’t put myself in that situation. Maybe things will change and improve over time. If they don’t, we’ll continue to parallel parent.

[JNChell]

Thanks for the link, Mutt! I have a lot of work to do in this area.

[Speck]

JNChell!

... .and was leaning on the T’s to figure it out for me instead of leaning on them to guide me through the healing process.

That's exactly it. Well said.

I think therapy, coupled with camaraderie and support from the awesome members here, is a good strategy for getting back to a more complete picture of wholeness, happiness, peace, and serenity.

I really commend your positive vibe, and I see that you're daring to be hopeful. That's the tricky part... .hope... .but go with it, brotha!


-Speck