Faster than the speed of light?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Wow, surprised at how fast my BPDex has moved. She started her 4th affair in January after spending a few days on dating sites to find her one soulmate. Then discovered in February 12th and she discarded me within minutes and moved in to her parents down the road. Filed divorce March 1st, speedy divorce do to adultery and finalized on March 8th. She must have tossed all of her mesmerizing bag of tricks at him because she convinced him to find a rental house that was pet friendly for two of our AKC registered Rots she took (guess she knows the value of this breeding linage). Then within the same week he was in the rental house she moved in on March 15th. Integrating herself very well with his family, throwing up a new Facebook page with all the usual blissful selfies.

I mean he does not truly know her, has a son, still married bu separated. She cannot get married until September under the state law (6 month no-marriage rule). And obviously she does not know him, other than what she has filled in the blanks in her own mind. The speed is astonishing. I imagine next comes the pregnancy or engagement, then the prolonged delay in marriage since his situation is a bit tricky.

Do they really move this fast? Oh and know she is reaching out to me for the AKC registration paperwork of which if she ever unboxed her 24 boxes I packed and dropped off back on March 9th she’d know she has them. Guess too lazy and unmotivated to unpack her boxes also. I have deleted her messages so more curious if others have seen BPD individuals move so fast like this?

-Darkblaez

[Darkblaez]

Wow, surprised at how fast my BPDex has moved. She started her 4th affair in January after spending a few days on dating sites to find her one soulmate. Then discovered in February 12th and she discarded me within minutes and moved in to her parents down the road. Filed divorce March 1st, speedy divorce do to adultery and finalized on March 8th. She must have tossed all of her mesmerizing bag of tricks at him because she convinced him to find a rental house that was pet friendly for two of our AKC registered Rots she took (guess she knows the value of this breeding linage). Then within the same week he was in the rental house she moved in on March 15th. Integrating herself very well with his family, throwing up a new Facebook page with all the usual blissful selfies.

I mean he does not truly know her, has a son, still married bu separated. She cannot get married until September under the state law (6 month no-marriage rule). And obviously she does not know him, other than what she has filled in the blanks in her own mind. The speed is astonishing. I imagine next comes the pregnancy or engagement, then the prolonged delay in marriage since his situation is a bit tricky.

Do they really move this fast? Oh and know she is reaching out to me for the AKC registration paperwork of which if she ever unboxed her 24 boxes I packed and dropped off back on March 9th she’d know she has them. Guess too lazy and unmotivated to unpack her boxes also. I have deleted her messages so more curious if others have seen BPD individuals move so fast like this?

-Darkblaez

[Shawnlam]

Well dark here is a history of my ex (which I only found out after I left her).She dated this guy at work for a year and was of course in love with him.He left her  and within three months she was engaged to someone else from her work .8 months after she and him had a new home built (neither could afford) and within 16 months after it was all over.Fast forward 6 more months I came along,I lasted 6 months then dumped her so I’m expecting (if it’s not already happened) a new guy and life continues.

[Darkblaez]

So pretty much seems like since they cannot be alone they tend to jump in to things quickly and repate the cycle. She still has no car, no job, no insurance (car or medical), so not sure how she juggles life's requirements and manager to pay down her $14K in debt. Unless this guy is willing to pitch in after only just getting started with her

-Darkblaez

[Shawnlam]

They don’t think like us dark ,life’s matters are not relevant to them.Retirement,living situations,car payments or having a car etc etc.My ex leased a car that had nowhere near the required mileage available a year just to get her to work and back plus her kids to school and back .She also never planned a home for her and her kids once her house was sold.She lives in a one bedroom apartment she sleeps in the living room.
I can’t speak for everyone with BPD but I know my ex’s decision making talents were pretty poor most of her life on all levels.They seem to do everything in their power to just get attention any collateral damage that results from this oh well?

[Cire155]

My ex cheated and I caught her with the guy. She started seeing him while she was with me and right after. I even got a sob story on how she loved me and it was my fault blah blah. She even told me " Did you expect I just stay hone and cry that we are over?". Mentioned to other friends that she found someone nice after we were dating for 6 months. IMO they move on fast because there is a nice shiny new toy to play with. Nothing personal, its just their under developed childlike thinking. Whatever trauma happened to them in their lives has stunted their ability to process things " normally". Its a coping mechanism that helps them through life. Every person with BPD is different but usually the mantra remains the same CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS. I believe they move on so fast because they have to. If they don't, they will have to dwell on what they have done and sink into having to realize that THEY are the problem. That new shiny toy will help them forget about it all but they will just end up repeating the cycle with that person and the person after that as well. Rebound artists is what I call them

[Shawnlam]

Honestly what choice do they have actually? With all the damage,lying ,cheating most have done they couldn’t bare to have a moment with their thoughts.I remember often my exGF would literally just stare off endlessly I always wondered what she was thinking about.Now I know today it was anything from the lies she told me,the cheating,or one of the many bf’s she’s had and screwed over.Thats apart from her past(and present) drug use,drinking,sexual activities including escorting this list goes on.In many ways I feel so bad for her and just want to hold and protect her ,but she needs to want that herself first.

[Foursome]

I cannot imagine being inside one of their brains.  It must be so messed up in there.  Even though they cause so much pain in chaos its hard not to feel so bad for them.

I guess it comes and goes. Cycle through anger then sadness.  Not sure how my personal situation is going to play out yet but I feel I have been shot thru the heart.

[Shawnlam]

Well foursome if you are feeling down or bad just message me to talk ,I know what you are feeling trust me.I thought I was through the worst just yesterday I fell into a slump and had to write on the “write to your ex board” post to get it out.When I flip to writing in French (yes I’m bilingual),it’s because I’m very emotional.I still haven’t convinced myself just yet that she can honestly be totally over me so quickly even though it’s not just possible put highly probable.

[Foursome]

The only reason she would be over you is if she is so scared deep down inside she makes herself be.

No One can compete with that.  It will be something she does for the rest of her life without help.

Each one seems different.  Mine wants to be with me.  I have left her.  I have divorced her.  I have told her to leave me alone.  She simply wont go away.

I mean I really dont want her too.  Its very sad situation.  The only time she does anything like get in other relationships or whatever is to get to me.

She tries everything until something works. 

[AnuDay]

Yes, they do move that fast. Easy come, easy go.  Occasionally I want to get back together.  Intellectually I know that it would be foolish.  You can't be happier than your spouse. 
They will do anything to hurt you financially or emotionally.  What sane person would want to put up with this?
Unless they start taking medicine I say leave them alone.  It's not worth it.

[Shawnlam]

At least you have that ,I left mine and she shut me out ,hasn’t said two words to me at all.It sounds pathetic that I’m upset by that given I left her,but I had to for my own dignity and self respect.I was kinda hoping in some way she would of contacted me again like the first time I left her.I think if it wasn’t for the pregnancy the first time I wonder if that would have even happened either? She is a beautiful woman who can and usually does have men running after her always .Even though she said to me once ( you should see the type of men that chase me,it’s sad) she still has so many options.Ive also seen her get flowers from ex boyfriends which makes me believe she is used to being chased so I don’t think she ever recycles she just moves on.Its the primary reason I refuse to reach out to her,because I know she is just so used to it... .why put myself through that misery? Why be just like all the others ? NO SIR, I just won’t ,I’ll keep writing on here as long as I have to  ,to make sure I don’t go acting foolish.Can you imagine her reaction if I do the same thing as everyone else?

[Foursome]

Now I cannot say this for absolute certain... .but I wouldn't bet she never reaches back out.

You leaving her triggered the worst thing in her life that could happen.  She might be really doing all she can to cover that pain.  Once she gets past that part of it she might very well try.

I think your doing the right thing by not reaching out.  Be strong.  Continue to heal.