Why does she keep cheating but refuse to let me go?

[blueyedguy]

She has done it yet again. Created the most elaborate lie so far just to be able to spend the weekend with her boyfriend who is an addict just like her. She is supposedly with a couple women from work at a cabin up north so she can destress.

She used an anonymous texting app to pretend to be one of the women and texted me asking if i would allow her to go with them. This woman told me my wife was crying at work a lot and they wanted to help her. All fake.

I went along with it knowing it was yet another lie because im done.

But here is my million dollar question. Why does she not just let me go? Leave me go be with this loser. He has a house she can move in with him.

Yet the 3 previous times she has left me for a weekend only to be with him when confronted she begs me not to go. Over and over with I love you i need you i cant live without you. Ill kill myself if you go.

Why can't they just leave us alone. She has actually said to me once why cant you just let me burn off some steam on the weekend. You see I hate drugs and wont let her do any here.

She actually believes i should let her be with another guy when she feels like it, but be there waiting when she comes home.

Why do they do this?
I need off this crazy train. I have tried so hard. But her lies are becoming more and more blatant.

I know she isnt where she says she is right now. If i expose her she will get defensive then angry then apologetic then say i love you not him its just the drugs.

Rinse and repeat.

Anyone else on this crazy train that they just wont let you off?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

Hi,
Its confusing.  they have s.m.i., serious mental illness, i cant make logic of them, their behaviours.
You can let yourself go.  I am finding my voice, my life, no one controls me, i am not a victim. There is power taking my life BACK!
Am doing N.C., will respond when he emails.
I feel like being myself, and i dont want to live in the reactionary world i was in w him.  Always in fear, what would happen, why is he doing this?
I think all of it, (the behaviours, demeaning ways, criticism etc) was geared towards keeping me "hooked"  he is excellent at seeing what works.
What will hook me... .

That was the old me.

keep posting.   There is help in this community.
j