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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Items left behind?
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Topic: Items left behind? (Read 457 times)
Darkblaez
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 32
Items left behind?
«
on:
April 01, 2018, 09:04:37 AM »
Just wondering a bit about items left behind. My ex and I are divorced, I followed the written agreement, but found that she left 8 boxes of keepsakes that were important to her (as she conveyed to me) among other items of hers. Is leaving this behind purposful as a way to reach back out?
The other thing is, she "accidentally" took some things of mine, my babybook, keep sakes, car keys, etc. She was suppose to turn them over but has not nor has she complied with the request. Is this yet a fallback option to reach back out?
Thanks for replies in advance
-Darkblaez
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Fie
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 803
Re: Items left behind?
«
Reply #1 on:
April 01, 2018, 12:02:00 PM »
Hello,
My ex left stuff on purpose. After a few weeks he contacted me, saying he wanted his stuff back.
When he left, I had told him to take everything, because I would get rid of things he left.
So... .I told him I gave everything to charity. His response was: 'Ooo... ok. Well, I will come by anyway.'
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Cromwell
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2212
Re: Items left behind?
«
Reply #2 on:
April 01, 2018, 01:22:19 PM »
I did the opposite, I filled her house up with gifts and gave away lots of my stuff.
just like some serial killers like to keep little trophy-articles/mementos of their victims, I already made it easier to detach by giving her it in advance.
in their case, it is similar because once abandoned, or even just gone for awhile, affects their sense of object permeance. these little artifiacts help to soothe that you actually existed. mines had kept a valentines day cake, untouched, which had been personalised to her, for years from one of her exs!
I actually at the time found it sweet that id found someone with such apparent emotional sensitivity.
but they like to get a hold of stuff that they feel you had some emotional attachment to. my car keys went missing too (they know the emotional bond guys feel about our cars haha). its a way of keeping a connection even when your gone, if you think the equivalent of a child's comfort blanket/cuddly toy.
and dually yes, its partly a good valid excuse they manufacture to having to contact you again.
try to arrange a 3rd person to be the intermediary if you can. youll probably find she then might just then all of a sudden not really care about bothering to get it after all.
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