I did something different

[juju2]

Hi family,

My story is here, posted since October.
Am separated march last yr, fm pwBPD, untreated, diagnosed for over 15 yrs.  We lived together for 10 years, we see eachother 90 minutes a week.

I have learned so much from each and every person here.  I am so thankful for this community.

So, he and i go to the same college, same dept.
There was a function in the department, he went, and the old me would have gone, probably to see him.  I knew that going to see him wasn't the healthy choice.  I did something else. 

I got some energy work done, by a healer.
Felt a lot better, my energy was like becoming stronger... .never did that before.  So I am still learning.
During that appt, he texted me 3 times.
Normally, I only hear from him 3 times in a week...

He wanted to know if i would be going to coffee tonite.  Prior to this, I hadn't heard anything about our meet up, and it was supposed to be that nite... .
And then, at the coffee, he asks if all our animals can hang out, he wants to come over.  He has not suggested that before.  So we will see if it materializes... .

I guess I wanted to see what would happen, I could tell he was expecting me to go to that function.  (I am that predictable, my friends.)

Anyway, I felt like am being returned to myself.  Am getting respect for myself.

Appreciate your time reading this,  j

[juju2]

.Hi 

hoping for any insight or comments.

[pearlsw]

Hi juju,

So you didn't see him? He wanted to see you? How are you feeling about that?

warmly, pearl.

[juju2]

Hi pearl

It felt authentic to do for myself.  I wanted the energy healing.

[pearlsw]

Hi pearl

It felt authentic to do for myself.  I wanted the energy healing.

Hi juju,

That's nice that you did some energy work that made you feel good. I meant though, did you actually see him at this function? He wanted to see you, but you felt it best not to connect at this time and do something more focused on you?

warmly, pearl.

[heartandwhole]

Hi juju,

I'm proud of you that you didn't go to the function, but instead did something really nice for yourself. Well done!   It seems that you got a lot out of it, too, as you felt better. Very good news.

It sounds like you went to the coffee meetup after the function—is that right? And your partner asked you if he could spend time with you and the pets at your place?

What did you say to that?

I think you are right: he was expecting you at the function, and that's why he texted so much.

I'd suggest continuing to put yourself first and staying open to his requests. Before saying "yes," to anything, check in with yourself. Do you say yes because it's what you truly want, or because you are afraid of what might happen if you say no (and vice versa)? It's something I'm working on, too. 

heartandwhole

[juju2]

Thank you for your response.
I did not see him at the function, i didn't go.

As for his request to bring the animals together, it looks to me like he is testing the waters on time together, becoming closer.  I said sure, we can have them together.

He also gave me a faucet he has been wanting to install.
He said he will install it for me.

Maybe all the freedom he has, maybe he is seeing its not all that great.

I was truly surprised at his reaction to me not being at the function... .

Also, I am in a much better space.  Am looking at my freedom.

Thank you family, juju

[CryWolf]

Maybe all the freedom he has, maybe he is seeing its not all that great.

Hey Juju this sounds a lot like the "grass is greener syndrome"

Please check this video out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5Y5yGQTA0o

Are you considering meeting with him? It sounds like he is noticing a lot of changes and misses you in my opinion. Please keep us updated!

[juju2]

Yes, grass is greener.

It's ok


I don't have to do or know anything right now.

He has asked to come over and bring our animals together, i said sure.  Our animals are a family.  We are a family.  He just doesn't know that.  It's ok.

Thank you family for making a difference in my life.  juju

[Jessica84]

Hi Juju!

I think it's great you chose to do something for yourself! Suddenly, you're not so predictable. And he's not so mysterious, is he?  He expected to see you, then showed his true colors when you weren't there. He was so sure you would be a desperate mess dying to catch a glimpse of him. That was then, when he had all the power. This is now, when you know your own value. You were off doing your own thing, looking out for YOU!