It’s breaking my heart to think of sending daughter, 15, away to residential.

[Rosiesdad]

My daughter has been struggling with depression for years (that we know of). She has repeatedly cut herself, she has been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and threats. She is a great kid but we have been struggling with her. She has no desire to do anything, can hardly get her to go to school and is failing from zero effort. She only wants to go to her girlfriends house and come home and go to sleep. She has starting smoking pot and lying to us all the time. If she does not get her way she throws a fit. We had to take her back to the hospital because she got mad and beat her head into the ground about ten times and said she wanted to kill herself. The doctor for the second time says she had BPD and they are saying she needs residential treatment. My daughter is furious and refuses to go. We keep thinking we can help her but deep down I know she needs more than we can do. It is extremely difficult to even get her to go see her therapist twice a month. As soon as someone says something she does not like she is done with them. We love our daughter and want the best for her but it is breaking my heart to even think of sending her away. She is still in the hospital locally today. Has anyone had the same situation

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MusicDad]

YES, My wife and I have been in almost the exact same situation.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  BPD "sucks".  I have started to implement the tools available to us here and It is helping me in addition to reading so many posts that help me to realize I am not alone.  I understand what you are going through.  You are not alone.  My son was hospitalized for a week (2years ago) and my wife and I were heartbroken.  My son has hundreds and hundreds of cutting scars all over his body and when I see them my eyes swell with tears.  Teenagers without this disorder can certainly be selfish, lazy, mean, and sometimes destructive.  Add BPD to the teenage mix and life can become almost unbearable. I sure you are already doing all of this so continue to be the loving an supportive mom you are.  Set reasonable boundaries for your D and try to understand that her mindset is different from those that do not suffer with BPD.  Continue to let her know that you love her, you are committed to supporting her to get to help.  That help can come in many forms so try to listen to her.  Her idea of help might not be your idea.  You can pray, you can seek answers here, you can continue to love your daughter.  I'm sorry you are going through this. 

[MusicDad]

Sorry RosiesDad,  I'm not used to reading many post from other Dads.  I may have referred to you as a "loving mom" in my post. Again sorry about that.  Haha