Trying to avoid a breakup, help my partner

[Kmacp5]

A little overwhelmed at the moment. I feel like the biggest veil in the world was just lifted after doing some intensive reading on BPD. My partner fits the description to a T. We are in the middle of crisis mode right now and I am trying to figure out the best way to approach him about what I feel like is going on. How do you tell someone you highly suspect they have BPD? We are very close. Started out as best friends, then evolved into the most intense romantic relationship I've ever had. We have what I thought was a very unique and trusting relationship, but am now questioning if it was all part of the idolization stage.
Ugh, just a lot right now. Taking it all in.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Kmacp5,

It is often advised not to deliver this news to your partner. You might want to read up a bit more on the lessons/workshops, this is a question people often ponder, and see if that is really something you want to do.

I spoke about it openly with my parter before I found this site. It is not something you should expect someone to take well or consistently believe/accept in my experience. You might want to talk with him about "emotional sensitivity" instead if you do have such a talk. I know by talking to my partner as if he "has emotions like we all do, but ones that are just a bit stronger", has helped at times. This won't be a one time thing. Be cautious.

with compassion, pearl.

[Mutt]

Hi Kmacp5,



My short answer don’t. I’ll give you a few reasons why. We’re nit doctors or professionals we can’t diagnose only a professional can do that! What we can look at are BPD traits amd his se boundaries are built around them.

If your SO does have BPD thee is a potential that the symptoms will worsen if you tell your SO.

Finally, let’s switch roles what if you were told that you had a serious mental illness one that is difficult to treat, one that to this day has a stigma attached to it? I’d get upset if someone close to me said that I had BPD.

I completely understand the space that you’re in when you first discover BPD it’s like an aha moment, you see an acronym that describes perfectly what you’ve gone through,you might scared because it can sound scary and sad when you first read about it. I suggest that you talk about it here.