The Lord will fight for you, you have only to be still~ Exodus 14:14 [Christian]

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I did read the forum guidelines and I believe this to be ok.  If not I will not be offending if its removed.  I have already gained the benefit and I put it here in case it might help others.

I was talking with my mother about everything that's happened since the divorce of my uBPDew.

I asked her why she thought God let this happened to me.  She paused for a short minute and then said because he is preparing you for something most wonderful in the future.

She then said don't rush it.  Feel what you need to and really learn what God is trying to teach you in all this.

She then quoted scripture.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" ~ Exodus 14:14

That really struck something inside me.

I guess sometimes when we reach out for help through our faith we best just be still and quiet and wait for the answers to come to us.

[Foursome]

I did read the forum guidelines and I believe this to be ok.  If not I will not be offending if its removed.  I have already gained the benefit and I put it here in case it might help others.

I was talking with my mother about everything that's happened since the divorce of my uBPDew.

I asked her why she thought God let this happened to me.  She paused for a short minute and then said because he is preparing you for something most wonderful in the future.

She then said don't rush it.  Feel what you need to and really learn what God is trying to teach you in all this.

She then quoted scripture.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" ~ Exodus 14:14

That really struck something inside me.

I guess sometimes when we reach out for help through our faith we best just be still and quiet and wait for the answers to come to us.

[lighthouse9]

Hey Foursome,

This is very wise of your mom and great advice.

My prayers lately have been to let his will be done, to learn to accept his will, but I always remind of my desire to reconcile. In other words, this is what I want, but if it's not what you want, then help me to be ok with that. It's a kind of surrender in a way.

It's not easy, to be still and quiet, but it is sometimes exactly what we need to learn how to do.

Wishing you strength in your faith,

-Lighthouse

[Foursome]

Thank you for your kind words.

I cant even express how much God is helping me cope with the anxiety of it.

Actually nothing else helps and I have tried darn near everything.

I really am starting to believe that all this has happened because God wanted me to be closer to him.  As long as I was with her I was being pulled in the opposite direction.

[Foursome]

"For I know my plans for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and and not evil, to give you a future and a hope"

Jeremiah 29:11

[lighthouse9]

Were you part of the crew reading "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend? I'm about halfway through it myself and just hit a part that described exactly what you're describing. Wentworth has brought it up to a lot of us and so many of us have been reading it.

[Cromwell]

Hi Foursome

In the state I was in, I welcomed anything at all, divine intervention included.

What I do have a big belief in is the power of the spirit that is what is there to continue the fight when all else seems to have deserted us.

In those lowest moments it was the only real power left that I had that I could call upon.

I also did begin to feel that whilst I felt within myself very alone, that this wasnt the case. Im happy that you are making a breakthrough and very often at the times I felt I was not making any progress, there is a lot that is going on in the background, even in the times I just felt I was doing nothing.

Doing nothing at that point was infinitely better for me than what I had been doing before.

[tlc232]

Foursome --- thank you so much for your post... .  it was exactly what I needed to read tonight.   And I don't believe in coincidences either!   

I believe in prayer as the first line of defense, not the last... .  it was a great reminder.  Thank you... .    

[Foursome]

If you wake with anxiety just google passages about dealing with anxiety and read the scriptures.

Its better than xanax any day.

[Enabler]

Matthew 23:12

Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.


Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

[Foursome]

I would like to here more stories of how your faith is helping you cope with these broken relationships.

For me its a daily struggle.  But I am learning to let it go and give it to Christ.  There is such peach in knowing that the Holy Spirit is inside me and helping me every step of the way.

I AM NOT ALONE!

[Enabler]

Faith is playing a multi faceted role in the breakdown of my relationship.

Firstly my parents were very religious, father preached, set up churches, treasurer etc etc. Diagnosed with small cell lung cancer on the Friday and told he had 3m to live with treatment, read bible study on Saturday about Hezikiar (given 15 more years to live) on the Saturday, Monday gets a call from Dr and told that the biopsy had changed and it was Lymphoma and there was an 80% chance he'd be alive in 5yrs time. He see's this a prophesy so does exactly what Dr tells him to do, prays and has faith God will guide him through treatment. Advised to not go out and be with people... .Various rainbow signs at significant times kept the prophesy alive... .he died 18m later broken to the core. Final words "this was not how it was supposed to be son". I turned my anger towards God and questioned his existence. My wife turned towards God however couldn't rationalise with me and my questions. I invalidated her religious beliefs not only with my statements but unmeshing from her view.

We still went to Church together however uBPDw decided she wanted to attend another church where she met her OM and had/is having and emotional (maybe physical) affair with. They believe that they are having a spiritual awakening and had a compunction to be in intimate conversation about God, their marriages and higher thinking together. Despite consulting numerous Christians including clergy about the morality of their relationship (and being told it should be stopped) they continue to date, and I believe they fantasize about being together. They certainly fantasize about being together in heaven. They believe their relationship is omnipotent.

After running around like a crazy man trying to make people see what was going on, I reached my low... .I reached the point where there was only one thing left, which was hope and faith, I started attending church again and looking at www.sandersweb.net/bible/verse.php on my phone in the hope that God would speak to me. I still have no answers regarding my fathers death, I still have no answers to many many things that have and are going on in my life... .but, the verses I receive give me comfort, the people at my church 'get it' and have a lot of experience with PD's. I feel calmness in church and enjoy the emotions rather than feel a lump in my throat from guilt and unworthiness, the guilt my W lumped on me. I seek solace in the random Bible verses and talks at church which have stopped me feeling the compunction to correct the narrative and be at calm with my situation more than I have been for the last 20 years.

I do believe that good will prevail, it may not be in the way that I originally hoped it would and I struggle with the idea that good may come from a divorce from a marriage that God blessed in his church 16yrs ago. But good will prevail... .somehow.
 

[Cromwell]

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Serenity Prayer - Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)