Hi Redbird55
Along with heartandwhole I also welcome you here
Being told you have a mental health disorder and dis-invited from your daughter's wedding in the same breath must have left you absolutely baffled and confused. It really is so heart wrenching when our adult children turn on us and we're looking for answers as to why; particularly as she is your only child. Just know that you and your husband have done the very best that you could and this is NOT your fault.
We were doing fine with her until she enrolled for her Masters in clinical psychology. After she graduated, she dropped her dad and I like a hot potato. How do I know if I really am borderline or not?
Redbird55
I have been cut off from my eldest DD27 on and off since early December 2017 and have not seen her for three months and I can relate to your pain. Apart from the wonderful resources on the board, I have recently been reading ":)one with the Crying" by Sheri McGregor. She has been engaging with many parents like us and provides many and varied reasons as to why our children cut us off. She raises a mental health variation known as "Medical Student Syndrome" whereby many parents become estranged from their adult children who enrol and engage in their own therapy as part of graduate training for Psychology or counselling degrees.
She appears to have targeted me more than my husband. I am a little scared about what she might do to me after he passes.
Redbird55
I have read a number of parents here have a very similar experience in this regard, and I can understand you being fearful. I am also very much a target over my ex-husband who enables my DD's behaviour.
Do you have a therapist, it sounds like you have a lot going on both now and in the past. It may be worth downloading and also being able to verify your own concerns about BPD, I must admit I was worried too that I had BPD when things with my DD got out of control.
Take care and keep sharing, we are all here to help you.
Merlot