Husband convinced counselor I am one with problem, alienates me from everyone

[Tolerable]

I have had the most horrible week. My husband has convinced counselor I am one with problem.   Counselor says just sin. I don’t care for the counselor as not very good credentials.  

He habitually lies. I’m so tired of his raging tantrums.  He tries to alienate me from everyone. How do u find counselor familiar with borderline personality disorder. I bought the book stop walking on egg shells. I thought oh my God this is it. I’m really not crazy. But he is so convincing.

He turns everything about him. He has the counselor convinced I am verbally abusive. Everything he does he points finger to me. Is this normal

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[pearlsw]

Hi Tolerable,

Are you living outside of your home country? Do you have a way there to search for another counselor? It sounds like you are seeing a religious counselor. Is that right?

Do you have any other support outside of your husband?

take care, pearl.

[RolandOfEld]

Hi Tolerable and welcome.

What you describe is a common BPD behavior known as "projecting". Your husband is most likely unable to accept something is wrong with him and is therefore projecting it onto you. He calls you verbally abusive because he himself is verbally abusive. Trying to convince the non (person without BPD) they are the one who is confused or mentally ill is called "gaslighting" and is also common with BPD.

Do you have somewhere you can go when he is raging? Who besides a counselor could you try and add to a support network?

-ROE

[Mutt]

Hi Tolerable,



I'd like to join the others and welcome you to bpdfamily. I completely understand how confusing that feels when we're blamed for all of the problems in the r/s, a T is supposed to be objectionable they're not supposed to side with either side if he / she is taking your H's side that puts you in a very uncomfortable position ( persecutor ) the T is rescuing your H and your H is the victim. You probably see that often that your H is the victim, how long have you been in counselling? It might be difficult to find someone that specialises in BPD, are you going to MC?