Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
December 21, 2024, 07:26:27 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Beware of Junk Psychology... Just because it's on the Internet doesn't mean it's true. Not all blogs and online "life coaches" are reliable, accurate, or healthy for you. Remember, there is no oversight, no competency testing, no registration, and no accountability for many sites - it is up to you to qualify the resource. Learn how to navigate this complicated arena...
115
Poll
Question: Issues complicating your relationship in addition to mental health...
Underemployment - me
Underemployment - partner
Physical impairment/disease - me
Physical impairment/disease - partner
Drug - me
Drug - partner
Alcohol- me
Alcohol- partner
Adultery - me
Adultery - partner
Hitting - me
Hitting - partner
Gaming - me
Gaming - partner
Gambling - me
Gambling - partner
Other- me (please explain)
Other- partner (please explain)
None of the above - me
None of the above - partner

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: POLL: Unemployment, drugs, alcohol, etc. issues  (Read 626 times)
Cromwell
`
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2212


« on: May 17, 2018, 03:42:44 PM »

Hi all

Just my first straw poll interested to see how much unhealthy addictions have been a part in your relationship.

I know in my case, in addition to the BPD, my ex was heavily involved in both and I feel it was a significant contribution to the majority of the difficulties experienced throughout the relationship.

Thanks for voting!
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12180


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2018, 04:15:16 PM »

We drank together only once at a party before we had kids.  My ex was so scared of drugs that she wouldn't even take Tylenol for a headache.  Unfortunately, she didn't want to try mood stabilizing drugs either even at the behest of her T. 
Logged

    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Mutt
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10400



WWW
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 05:21:32 PM »

she didn't want to try mood stabilizing drugs either even at the behest of her T. 

I know that my ex was given a prescription for anti depressants and I don't think that she ever took them I think that she said that I had the problem and that I was depressed she was right about depression. I'm sure Cromwell that you'll find other members that have a pwBPD with substance abuse issues it never came into play with my ex and I we drank a few times but she wasn't a drinker or drug user.
Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Zen606
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 165



« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2018, 01:11:36 AM »

Hi everyone,
Smoking marijuana all day beginning in the AM, stroke disabilities, no ambition, no interest in even doing volunteer work -- these were some areas that composed my bp trait ex's life. Yes, they did concern me and told me much about him and his view of the world.

Zen606
Logged
Aesir
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 187



« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 03:52:46 PM »

My ex was chronically unemployed. She thought it was ok to put the financial burden of making the relationship work all on me. When she didn't get what she wanted she caused trouble.
Logged
Harley Quinn
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2839


I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 05:48:49 PM »

I'm glad to see that you included ourselves in the topics for the poll Cromwell.  It will certainly be interesting to see how this looks when there are a quantity of votes, and the initial results are already creating a picture.  I wonder how many of us began to drink or take drugs as a result of being with our partners, either through joining them in their use or as a result of the stress we encountered in the r/s.

Love and light x 
Logged

We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
GaGrl
Ambassador
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5761



« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 07:56:45 PM »

The only reason I didn't mark Underemployment for DH's experience with his ex is that her education in her native country was the equivalent of a U.S. fourth grade. However, when she figured out she could work as a "massage therapist" (unlicensed) and get paid for the type of activity that she had done for years to manipulate boyfriends, she suddenly figured out how to run a business.

My DH spent years in fear she would be arrested, and that his professional reputation would be connected to her "business."

Logged


"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
Zen606
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 165



« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2018, 08:23:16 PM »

Hi everyone,
My bp trait ex was stroke disabled, right side -- he could walk but had no use of his right arm So he felt self-conscious about going on into the world. However he had made some interesting comments that I did not pay too much attention to at the time -- in a relationship he would chose to stay home, he would care for the home and the partner would work for a wage. I can certainly see him doing that well, as he was a smart guy,  neat, clean, but my first instinct about this was that he did not want to work for a living.  He had an elaborate story about what he did before he had the stroke and all the money he made and then losing everything etc.  He also, during the time I knew him, had no ambition, although he did dabble in clay work -- haiku. I say dabble because he had the kiln and equipment and would make pieces but I was never sure if he was following through with the pieces or if this was staged. Also, as I don't trust him, I'll never know.

Zen606
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!