Hello everyone

[lourdessy]

So, my teenager daughter was diagnosed BPD about 3 months ago. Co-morbid conditions include depression, anxiety, and conduct disorder.
My husband (her stepfather) and I have provided access to every resource within her means, and she continues to lose functionality. She is basically in her room most of the time, and only makes it out to school about two hours a week these days.

I think I am coping ok, all things considered. But as I am sure all of you know, sometimes it's just too. damn. hard.

Right now the things that are most painful for me are accepting: 1. That the child I nurtured, loved, and sacrificed for is gone. 2. In her place is someone who is emotionally dangerous, someone who poses a threat to my well-being. It is very, very sad, because I gave her a better childhood than the one I had myself.

Thanks for listening.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Faith Spring]

Hello, I'm right there with you.  Stuck in grief wondering where my girl is.  Also 17 and diagnosed a few months ago.  Her room is small but in it she has a mini fridge and a treadmill.  Uses her window to get in and out so she doesn't have to see me or her dad.  It's sick sad and very lonely.  I'm glad you posted here.  I hope reading posts from other moms and dads comforts you as it does me. 

[bluek9]

   Welcome Lourdessy,

     Another parent here to say hi and glad you're here. I'm sure will find from reading that so many of our kids suffer with co-morbid conditions. It only adds more pain to a situation that is already complicated.
    I hear you ! About being just too damn much to deal with sometimes. When I first came here I was tearing my hair out, spitting mad, looking for answers. As a parent suffering the loss of a child who is still right in front of you, is heart breaking. If we let it, the pain of struggling with accepting will keep us on a merry go round. I'm not saying it's easy or it will come right now, but eventually we do have to accept. There are great lessons here, one is on radical acceptance.
    It is very, very sad but, I'm sure you will read here the posts of many parents who feel the same, say the same; I gave them a good childhood, loved them. It will take time but, you will come to understand that it had NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Mental illness is no discriminator of people. It is hard, it is a struggle, believe me when I tell you there is always hope. You can find a way to love your child for she is. It's just that now all she is, is different from your dreams.

[Cricket12]

Hi Lourdessy,
You have so accurately described how I am feeling as well. I feel grief for the lovely daughter I raised and lived with for a happy 14 years. I miss her and I need to accept that she is gone and in her place is a different person who I cannot control nor protect. Because she can be so charming and sweet, I fall into trusting her again and again. However, she is a masterful liar and manipulator and I am constantly hurt when I discover the things she does. I do feel comforted by hearing other parents’ stories and I feel less alone. Thanks for sharing.