Single mom of two: I thought I was going crazy, hoping to figure things out

[stayingcalm]

I have been struggling as a single mom of two for about six years trying to get help and figure out what my daughter and possibly my son are dealing with.  I started seeing a psychologist and she believes it's BPD.  I thought I was going crazy.  My friends think I'm allowing myself to be abused by a disobedient child, but I've believed all along there is more to it.  I'm still not sure how to help her but hoping to figure things out.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi stayingcalm and welcome to the board!  I am glad you posted though I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.  You have landed in a very safe and supportive place to share your story and chat with others in very similar situations.  Was it a relief to hear a therapist say what may be going on rather than wondering and questioning yourself?

I don't know if you have had a chance to look around but over on the right there are several links you may want to read through.  Parenting a child with possible BPD is challenging to say the least.  We have several articles that can help you understand the disorder more and tools that can help improve your situation.  

How old are your children?  What sort of behaviors are you experiencing that make you and your therapist suspect BPD?  Can you share some more specifics about your situation and your daughter so we can guide you to particular resources you may find helpful?  As I said, this is a safe and supportive place and we would like to help you as you navigate your way through parenting.  

I'll be looking forward to hearing more from you but in the meantime, please look around and read.  If you have questions, please ask.

[Feeling Better]

Hello stayingcalm

I would like to join Harri in welcoming you here and would like to also say that you have come to the right place for help and support.

It must be really hard being a single mom and I'm sorry to hear that your friends think that your daughter is just being disobedient. We find that a lot here that friends and family don't understand but we all here 'get it',  so you are definitely not alone.

As Harri says, there are TOOLS and LESSONS to be found on the right 

Look forward to hearing more from you x 

[Hyacinth Bucket]

hi StayingCalm,

How are you doing this week?

[Overwhelmedabit]

I know you’re struggling but hey, HUGE props for figuring out that your daughter has this problem! My daughter was always difficult from birth and then her teen years were really bad but thought was just teen stuff. Saw a counselor and no idea why she didn’t figure it out. Now my daughter is 26 and I just found her some decent help but the patterns are ingrained deeply so harder to fix and she’s also pretty much trashed her life. So I’m so glad that you figured it out. Knowledge is power and so much easier to try the treatment before they are adults. Best of luck to you and good job!