Need advice for coping with a friend

[kokomo]

Hi,

I have a church member whose diagnosis is BPD. After doing some reading I realize she is high-functioning/not clingy, which explains why she's so convinced she isn't mentally ill and refuses meds or counseling.  My question is: when she says something irrational or attacking, should I let it go or should I reply with the truth?

Here's the latest example: we had a rare, decent conversation in which she excitedly described the new furniture she bought and can't afford.  I said nothing about the wisdom of her purchase, just acknowledged that new things are exciting, then said it was nice to see her so cheerful. Two days later I get a scorching voice mail about "where do you get off thinking I'm sad?" Do I correct her or drop it?

Obviously one can't say "that's not true" because that would be too confrontational. But saying nothing feels like letting falsehood reign.  Our little congregation needs help with this. Thanks.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[CryWolf]

I would like to welcome you on behalf of the family here and thank you for sharing your story. I know its hard and difficult to share with people you dont know, but this is a safe place and we are here to support you 

Do you mind sharing some more information about your friend? How are the dynamics in your friendship with your church friend? Getting to know more, may help us to get a better grasp of the situation.

We have some tools here about validation and jading, I think those are some good tools you may start in. The tools are located on the top of the page!

It shows a lot of care that you want to understand your friend better, and help. We are here to help