My friends are urging me to get out

[Hope?83]

Hi. I haven’t been in a chat room in many years. I’m hoping to connect with people who can understand what I’m going through. I’m 17 weeks pregnant and the father of my child has BPD. After a disastrous week of what was supposed to be a vacation near where I grew up,  I finally broke down and told some longtime friends about what I’ve been experiencing the last 18 months. They are all urging me to get out and they are worried about me (as is my mother). I’m worried too. If I wasn’t pregnant I would just leave but I am now bonded to this person for life.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Hope?83,



Sorry I hadn't seen this sooner. How are you doing? We're here!

You feel like you have to stay with him because of the pregnancy? Well, you are bonded, yes, but please don't feel like you have to stay. I can imagine the strong pull you have towards him, but you do have choices, okay? Hard as they may be.

Are you and the baby safe? Is he violent? What behaviors does he exhibit? Do you live together? What has said about you/the pregnancy?

wishing you the best, pearl.

[flourdust]

Just jumping in to welcome you, too! Pearl has some great thoughts.

Your friends want you to leave him. You feel obligated to stay. But what do you want, and why?

[Cat Familiar]

People who care about you see the situation differently than those who are immersed in it. Yes, you are pregnant, but that doesn't mean you have to stay with him if you don't want to.

And think about your child. Would you want your child to be parented by someone who is unreliable and unstable?

Please tell us more about what leads you to realize that this man has BPD.

[Radcliff]

Can you tell us a little more about your relationship?  How long have you been together?

WW