New Member: Daughter with BPD about to go to college ... how can I prepare her?

[INBPDmom]

Hello, we are relatively new to the world of BPD and are still trying to take it all in. Right now we are busy with day-to-day survival (trying to find the time and the privacy to read "Walking on Eggshells", hoping the new medication that was prescribed will help with some symptoms, and follow through with counselors, doctors, and other professionals that have been brought in over the last 5 weeks all while still trying to maintain a normal "life."

Right now the hardest part for me is trying to reconcile getting ready to send her off to college but also ramping up the reassurance and parenting when she gets agitated. Another hard part is listening to the WOE book and recognizing some of these thought processes as ones I had earlier in life. And finally, grieving over the diagnosis and worry about what is ahead.

Looking forward to "meeting" everyone!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[bluek9]

   Welcome INBPDmom,   

   How right you are! Taking it all in can be totally overwhelming.  And day to day survival fits the bill for so many parents who find themselves here. You talked about meds what is being used, and is it working for now? How did you come about getting the diagnosis?
  I'm sorry you are in such a place of whirlwind, trying to carry on with life, getting ready for what should be an exciting time of college, all the follow through and yes the grieving. You will find that all of the parents here have a plate full of life along with the challenges of BPD. Sometimes we find ourselves on a roller coaster of issues and emotions. Sadly grieving is a part of living with and dealing with BPD. We need time to let our heads and hearts come to grips with what this all really means. It is the start of a journey, one that our kids and us will need all the help we can get. This place offers great lessons, insight, support and encouragement.    Glad you are here

[Merlot]

Hi INBPDmom

Welcome to the bpdfamily.  You are in exactly the right place for support and guidance along with so many parents who will offer you their thoughts about their own journeys which will no doubt prove invaluable for you.

It's great that you have started some reading and I hope this is much validation for you in reading Walking on Eggshells  ;  I know it was for me, so many "ah ha" moments.  I think you are right, it is very confronting to recognise some of your own behavioural traits in reading through behaviours.  I think the difference is actually in being able to acknowledge that, which for many people with BPD is very difficult to do; an inherent characteristic of having BPD, so I'm guessing this is healthy acknowledgement.

I'm wondering what are the key issues that is scaring you about sending your daughter away?

It sounds like you are well engaged with professional help and that must be very re-assuring for you.  There is wonderful information to the right  and while learning, it is also a time for you to look after yourself.  As you know BPD is exhausting.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

Merlot