I'm new here, exhausted and need help, guidance with my 16 yr daughter

[Flwornoutmom]

Hi
I am in my 11th year with my daughter and mental health challenges.
She is diagnosed BP with BPD traits and is 16. This week I found her in bed with a girl- so many lies, 16th bday, high friends, hostility, physical and emotional aggression, locked doors can’t five me a break. I am exhausted and need help.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Welcoming you, Flwornoutmom!

Eleven years dealing with your daughter's mental health challenges... .a long time!  I can well understand the nom-de-plume you chose. 

You've certainly come to the right place to be heard and supported.  No one's story here is shocking... .lots of heads nod when posts are read.

Sadly there are no quick fixes for any of us... .but certainly lots of info and support from the others here as we share our experiences.

Do you have other children.  Do you have a partner or are you a single parent?  Have you been to counselling.  Lots of questions... .answers you may or may not feel like answering. 

The words that jumped out to me from your post were "physical... .aggression."  Has your daughter been physically aggressive towards you?

Feel free to come back on at any time... .day/night... .share as much/little as you want.

I'm giving you a ((HUG), Flwornoutmom.  You need one!

Huat

[wendydarling]

Hello Flwornoutmom 

Along with Huat I welcome you. I'm sorry things are so difficult for you and glad you've jumped in here with us for support and sanctuary.

Look forward to hearing more from you, how we can support you.

 
WDx

[Feeling Better]

Hello Flwornoutmom

I would like to join Huat and wendydarling in welcoming you here.

No wonder you are feeling exhausted trying to cope with your 16 year old daughter, I’m sorry to hear that locking your door doesn’t give you a break either, my heart goes out to you.

What support do you have for you Flwornoutmom? I hope that you are able to take some time out for yourself.

Please keep sharing, we would love to hear more from you x 

[DoneMom]

Hi flwornoutmom,

I hear you... .I can feel the exhaustion in your poor bones... .my heart goes out to you.

My daughter is 23 and I WISH I could go back to 16 and have more influence over her behavior than I currently do but hopefully you can learn here, commiserate and ultimately find some peace.  I am new and trying to do the same.

The lies really hurt, I know.  I hate them but now I question everything my daughter says and assume most of what she tells me are lies.  It’s a sad thing when you cannot trust your child.

Please try to take care of yourself,

DMom