Exhaustion experienced by parent of a pwBPD

[really tired]

I have a daughter who has symptoms and behaviors of BPD. I am a therapist and feel that I should be able to handle the splitting, lack of empathy or understanding, and extreme jealousy. My relationship with my daughter has left me exhausted, hurt, and even angry and resentful. I am at the point of not dealing with her at all. She manipulates situations and statements to support her dysfunctional beliefs and feelings. She has made reckless decisions and she takes responsibility for nothing. Honestly, I have been trying and fighting for our relationship for years but even now I am the "bad guy" but 4 days ago I was the "good guy". In dealing with my clients, I always keep in mind "never work harder that your client". I have worked so hard validating, reassuring, taking actions to prove my commitment as a mother. I thought I was making real progress when I allowed her and her 4 boys move in with me. That was a bad idea. She has disrespected me in front of my grandchildren, accused me wrongly, but accepted every monetary or supportive act given by me as if I owe her. She has even broke me down by telling me I failed her because she made a poor decision and refused to accept the consequences. This platform to discuss and relate to others who experience some of the things mentioned above is so satisfying. I needed relief immediately because I began to think of all kinds of things to do to try to get her to see that she has hurt me deeply and she can't or won't see it. I even considered relocating to get away from her. She even lies on her therapist to me to support her dysfunctional thoughts. I am so tired... .Help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Overwhelmedabit]

I feel like I could have written your post myself, except I’m not a therapist. I really feel for your pain. As a mother, it is hard to give up on your child. But it is really like being tortured on a daily basis and what little hope there ever is for normalcy doesn’t last long.
Bless you and hope you find the strength to go on.

[wendydarling]

Hello really tired and welcome

 

I hear you, you are truly exhausted by it all, hurt, angry and resentful of your daughters behaviours. I'm glad you've jumped in and joined us here for support with parents who understand what you are dealing with, you are not alone.  

Many of us arrive here feeling like you do, hit a brick wall, stuck. We've tried everything. Being able to catch our breath and stand back and talk here is a welcomed relief. One day at a time.

really tired has there ever been a ray of light from your daughter,  acknowledging her struggles or is she in complete denial? You say your daughter has a therapist, how did that come about? How old is she, is she working?

WDx