Daughter is Bipolar, ADHD and Borderline personality disorder sufferer.

[Captain Kanga]

My daughter now is active with a therapist weekly and also sees a Psychiatrist regularly. Her meds seem to  be adjusted pretty well after her and the doctor tried and found the best combination of antidepressants and bipolar meds along with Adderall for the ADHD. I'm currently reading the 'Walking on Egg Shells. My daughter's biological mother was a bad borderline with antisocial disorder and maybe bipolar as well. She was found dead in her home lying next to a toppled bottle of narcotic pain pills. This was almost 3 years ago. She was only 49 years old

When the mom maltreated the two children... .no food ,no power, evicted many times... .homeless most of the time I took her to court and got custody of my daughter. I've raised her since she was 5 years old. Now she is here in Florida living with me a lot of the time. She will be 22 in a couple weeks.

I sometimes can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently reading the book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells'
It shows me that what you are dealing with is a lot more devastating then I ever thought. You get so used to all the games and lies and manipulations. From now on I will be concentrating on keeping myself healthy more and I have two other books to research as well. I also bought 'BPD demystified' and I hate you, don't leave me. My Ex used to actually say that to me!

I also see another therapist in the same office for me that communicates with my daughter's therapist.I only go every 3 weeks and bring notes.
Thanks for listening

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

You and your daughter have been through a whole lot. Her mom's suicide was a brutal blow. In combination with the neglect.

What specifically are you dealing with concerning your daughter? Despite you being there for her, it sounds like she's hurting given her mom,  and I imagine it is very difficult to deal with her given her pain both with the neglect and feelings of abandonment.

[Merlot]

Hi Captain Kanga

I join Turkish in welcoming you to the bpdfamily  

As Turkish mentions, there is a lot going on for you and your daughter, no doubt exacerbated by her mother's life and death.  While I don't have direct experience in dealing with meds, I can only imagine the rollercoaster ride you have been on and some stability must be a welcome reprieve.  I really do feel for you.

I sometimes can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It shows me that what you are dealing with is a lot more devastating then I ever thought. You get so used to all the games and lies and manipulations.

Like Turkish suggests, are you able to share a little more of what has been happening for you?  Is there some crisis that brought you here? You are in the right place as parents here are dealing with the challenges of BPD.  Being able to articulate specific issues, allows parents here to provide you support and guidance from their own experience, especially with mixed diagnoses and meds.

Walking on Eggshells is a wonderful eye opener that seems to provide perspective to otherwise what seems irrational chaos.  I'm glad that you are seeing a therapist, and have identified that taking care of yourself is critical in managing yourself and your daughter.  Personally, I have been doing exactly the same as you, learning about BPD, seeing a therapist and coming here to learn from others and provide support as well.

Your are not alone Captain Kanga and we look forward to hearing more from you.

Take very good care of yourself.

Merlot

[Captain Kanga]

My daughter had been accepted into two nursing school programs in the last few years. Both programs she was a stellar student... .the top of her class. Both schools when she started clinical training at local hospitals she broke protocol and did things like telling patients that she would remove their IV because the patient didn't like the Needle in their arm. This is clearly not the proper  way to behave in a clinical setting. She tended to not be on time for clinicals which usually will get you booted out of the program all by itself. The schools both developed a case against her and soon after that she received her walking papers. We are talking a lot of my money completely wasted. Text books, on line text books you have to purchase large tuition bills for 2 years paid that became worthless. So I'm out a bunch of cash now so I told her I'm not financing her anymore. She blames me and the entire college directly because never is a borderline ever at fault nor do they ever apologize. She is currently trying to get her psychiatrist to write a letter to the adaptive services department so that if she can get back in the program she will have some alleged protection from the nursing director terminating her from the program so easily all over again. I am not willing to drop any more money into this venture. Nursing by nature is all about rules and protocol and there being only one accepted way of doing damn near everything in their job description. Following procedures to the letter goes completely against her grain.I know she can be very good at a lot of things... .I just think nursing may not be her thing.
   Up until maybe 6 months to a year ago my daughter really only needed to be medicated for ADHD (from 4 to 21 1/2) Now she has been diagnosed with BPD and ADHD and she is bipolar. I literally broke out in hives when I realized that yes, when she reached early adulthood that's when borderline personality disorder manifests itself in people. In the back of my mind I was always hoping that she would be spared all difficulties.
  So far she has done well. She sees a Psychiatrist regularly and her therapist every week. We are doing what needs to be done. It's especially tough for me to think that her mother ruined my life already years ago and now here we go again. I'm almost 64 years old and retired. My therapist wants me to get out on a trip and relax. It does make one feel isolated at times. We still have a good relationship and enjoy each other's company. Mt therapist is showing me how to take my time back. My daughter moved into an apartment with friends... .seems pretty safe and it's maybe 3 miles away. There you go ... .more information... I'll look back later.
Is there live chat also? This website is not the easiest to navigate... .Thank you all. 

[Feeling Better]

Hi there Captain Kanga

I am sorry to hear of what you have been going through, it must have been really frustrating for you after doing your best by your daughter to see her sabotage all that you’d done. On the other hand though I am pleased to hear that she is currently doing well, and that she is seeing her psychiatrist and therapist on a regular basis. You must be really proud of her. You also say that you and her have a good relationship and enjoy each other’s company, that is wonderful to hear.

So now it’s your time, your therapist is absolutely right and is helping you towards regaining your life. What do you think about taking the trip that your therapist suggested you take? Are you able to do something like that?