Still want my ex who has BPD back but need help

[Dwarefunguy]

I dated my ex, who has BPD for almost 4 years. We lived together but she split me black, dumped me and I had to move out. We had been no contact for a week.

 I saw her call around 11 pm, something she doesn't normally do I thought it was an emergency.  She called me drunk, saying i should have my mail forwarded somewhere (i don't have a permanent place yet)

She then proceeds to tell me that she is seeing some guy with a kid (she did not want to date anyone with kids before) and proceeds to tell me he is great but they are fighting because they both are bullheaded.

She then tells me she really is juggling 3 guys and is having a tough time with life, that she is having a breakdown and wont see a therapist until thursday.

She knows i still love her and want to.get back together with her. Hell, i almost proposed to her. She says she can still talk to all the other guys but not be back together with me  because i bring the most pain and disappointment and won't get back with me because it would be a step backwards and she can't be friends with her exes even though she talks to one from 8 years ago and he's married with kids.

My mind is so messed up right now and I'm feeling really low. I made progress with my therapist but the fact the person i wanted to spend my life with and who i still love a)can see everyone else but me and b)messed my mind up and c) she said she wasn't attracted to me any more. This really sucks

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[braveSun]

      Welcome to the boards Dwarefunguy!

It's good that you reached out. You'll find here that you are not alone. Many of us have experienced similar situations in our relationship with our loved ones wBPD. The situation you are describing about her love life sounds complicated.  It's good that she will be seeing her T tomorrow.

It's also a good thing that you have a T to help you sort this out.

What you might have noticed already is that with pwBPD, things are not logical very much. You have chosen to post on the Bettering board, although she is giving signals that she is moving on. I know it's conflicting.

It's hard to conceive for us nons that people can do things like she does.

It sucks, yeah... I'm very sorry for what you are going through...    


Do you care to give us a bit more background information? You say you have dated for almost 4 years. Were there any events that led you to come to this place?

with compassion,

Brave

[childhoodgone]

I dated my ex, who has BPD for almost 4 years. We lived together but she split me black, dumped me and I had to move out. We had been no contact for a week.

 I saw her call around 11 pm, something she doesn't normally do I thought it was an emergency.  She called me drunk, saying i should have my mail forwarded somewhere (i don't have a permanent place yet)

She then proceeds to tell me that she is seeing some guy with a kid (she did not want to date anyone with kids before) and proceeds to tell me he is great but they are fighting because they both are bullheaded.

She then tells me she really is juggling 3 guys and is having a tough time with life, that she is having a breakdown and wont see a therapist until thursday.

She knows i still love her and want to.get back together with her. Hell, i almost proposed to her. She says she can still talk to all the other guys but not be back together with me  because i bring the most pain and disappointment and won't get back with me because it would be a step backwards and she can't be friends with her exes even though she talks to one from 8 years ago and he's married with kids.

My mind is so messed up right now and I'm feeling really low. I made progress with my therapist but the fact the person i wanted to spend my life with and who i still love a)can see everyone else but me and b)messed my mind up and c) she said she wasn't attracted to me any more. This really sucks

Was she stable in the past, and faithful, for those 4 years?

Didn't she say such things only to hurt you, in the past as well?