My daughter has BPD, has anyone had any luck with behavioural contracts?

[mombpdkid]

Hi, My daughter has BPD and I'm struggling with anticipating the outbursts. Her DBT therapist is headed out on maternity leave which we fear may trigger her. I have read about behavioral contracts, has that worked for folks?

thanks

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello momBPDkid 

Welcome to bpdfamily son/daughter board. I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with anticipating outbursts, it sounds like you are definitely walking on eggshells. You say that your daughter’s DBT therapist is taking maternity leave, and you are afraid that might trigger her, are you considering finding her a new therapist at all?

I am sorry to say that I have no experience of behavioural contracts, but I’m sure that someone will drop by who will have. In the meantime please feel free to take a look around the site, there is lots of valuable information to be found to the right 

Look forward to hearing more from you x 

[Merlot]

Hi momBPDkid

Along with Feeling Better, I welcome you too. 

As your daughter is in therapy, im asuming you are on your learning journey like all of us and Im sorry for what you are going through.

I think you have good reason to be comcerned about a trigger event with the therapist going away. If she has developed trust and rapport with the therapist, her departure could trigger an anondonmnent response from what I have been reading. Do you think your daughter could actually raise these concerns with the therapist to put some strategies in place before she goes away.

Im glad you are here with us. It would be great to hear more about your circumstances, how old your daughter is, other supports you have in place and how you are coping with all of this.

Look after yourself. We are here to listen and share.

Merlot

[bluek9]

Hi momBPDkid,

   I join the others in welcoming you to this place.   As a counselor myself I know that when changes are coming to the therapy relationship the counselor usually takes 2-3 sessions to process this and come up with a plan for the client. So I agree with Merlot, talk with the therapist about your concerns. I'm sorry that you are going through the anticipation of meltdowns, that's an awful feeling.   As for the behavior contract, yes I've tried them. For me they didn't really work out. Manipulation, expectations, and the distorted view of love are part of the complex picture of BPD; this is what kept the contracts from working for me. I'm not about raining on your thought, if you think this could work for you, try it. One of the beautiful things about being here is hearing input from others, what works, what doesn't. My D is going to be 36 next month and trust me I still don't have it all worked out. I came here to find my sanity again and I found a great place of support, understanding, encouragement and love. Keep posting, let us know how you are doing.