Met a girl, part: 3

[CryWolf]

Is it possible she didn't feel heard by you?

From what you shared with us it sounded like she was clear from the get go that a long term relationship wasn't in the cards.  Is it possible she tried a number of times to bring your fun series of dates to graceful close but couldn't?

I don’t know. She told me I’m lots of fun. I told her I’m not pushing for a relationship. I told her I’m in no rush, and if I’m ever coming off too strong or crossing boundaries to let me know.
I respected her choice of not wanting s relationship and continue dating and having fun.

Only reason I told my intentions was because she asked if I’m a player and if I sleep around. I told her no, and I told her my intentions. She said she had anxiety and I did this to make things clear.

[juju2]

Hi c.

There is a r/s coach on youtube, craig kenneth, and he has a video on anxiety attachment.its under attachment syles.   Or attachment.

You may want to watch it.

Blessings, j

[CryWolf]

Gonna take this as a way of her not wanting to see me again. No one would lie about moving unless they wanted to get away from someone.

[CryWolf]

She came back from New York based off her friend and brothers social media posts. But still no response from her. She still follows me on social media but doesn’t like any of my posts.

I sent her a Snapchat last Saturday and she responded. But then didn’t reply after. I asked her how nyc was treating her on Monday as a light text. No response. She is active on social media.

I’m not meeting with the mutual friend for dinner anymore. Not sure if he cancelled because he was actually busy or maybe because of her.

This sucks but time to delete her number.

[Harley Quinn]

Sorry to hear that CryWolf, but that does sound like a wise decision.  Can you dust yourself off and reaffirm what it is that you are looking for?  If that is someone to have a stable long term relationship with, then what does that look like to you?  What is important in a r/s in your view?  Being clear on your values and what you want should help you to align yourself more with people who are of the same thinking. 

You've struggled with your anxiety through this.  Do you intend to take some time out for yourself before getting back in the saddle?  What would you want to change if anything as you enter back into the dating arena?

Love and light x

[juju2]

Cry,
Am getting a lot of info from that craig k. you tube

He has some good ones, like what is my attachment style.?
He puts one out every day, has good r/s information, and since he is a male, a lot of his own experience is w women(of course) and he shares about the people he has helped... .men and women.
fyi, take it or leave it.
take care, j

[CryWolf]

Hey juju, I’ve seen all his videos since back in December. He is amazing. His advice says to back off and move on and if she comes back then proceed forward.

I’m just hurt by how everything turned to be, and this is what I feared the most was being ghosted.

[juju2]

Its ok Cry.

I look at it like people sorting themselves out of my life.

It takes me a while, and i can look glass half empty or glass half full.  It is way better to find silver linings.  And then, nothing is set in stone either!

I dont have to take anything personally.  My life can be an ocean or a pond and everything in between.
Be good to myself, enjoy myself, do things that make me happy; the rest will sort itself out!
I come first.

Best, j

[Turkish]

This sucks but time to delete her number.

It sounds like you're winding down processing this,  having been open and honest about your feelings and what happened. 

What do you feel you might do differently next time,  if anything?

[CryWolf]

It sounds like you're winding down processing this,  having been open and honest about your feelings and what happened. 

What do you feel you might do differently next time,  if anything?

not go all out on my dates. not look forward to anything.

[Turkish]

You sound "resigned to fate" CryWolf.

I know you're disappointed that it didn't work out with this girl.  It didn't even progress into a r/s.

Are you feeling like throwing in the towel?

There are a few billion women on the planet,  surely a few thousand datable where you are.  Subtracting the 25% mentally ill,  that still leaves quite a few.  How do you feel about reaching out, not looking forward to anything,  as you say.  Just take some dates in the moment with no expectations?

[CryWolf]

You sound "resigned to fate" CryWolf.

I know you're disappointed that it didn't work out with this girl.  It didn't even progress into a r/s.

Are you feeling like throwing in the towel?

There are a few billion women on the planet,  surely a few thousand datable where you are.  Subtracting the 25% mentally ill,  that still leaves quite a few.  How do you feel about reaching out, not looking forward to anything,  as you say.  Just take some dates in the moment with no expectations?

youre right. i put a lot of pressure on the situation and let my feelings overtake.
 im just tired of being ghosted to be honest.

 school starts monday. we'll probably have a "met a girl in class" post. HAHA

[Turkish]

It sucks being ghosted (rejected)

I'm looking forward to "met a girl in class." 

Onward and upward!

[spacecadet]

Hey Cry Wolf, I'm glad your classes start soon, lots of new people to meet.   You've had a few similar experiences lately of being ghosted as you say... .I'm wondering what can be learned from this? What would happen if, instead of focusing on one girl in particular, you pick out say three or four who interest you, hang out be friends? Get to know them before focusing in on one and even if one stands out as being special, spend time with others to keep the emotional and time investment at a more moderate level for a few months?

I'm curious to know other things about you... .what are you studying? What are your passions, your career and life goals?

[CryWolf]

Sorry to hear that CryWolf, but that does sound like a wise decision.  Can you dust yourself off and reaffirm what it is that you are looking for?  If that is someone to have a stable long term relationship with, then what does that look like to you?  What is important in a r/s in your view?  Being clear on your values and what you want should help you to align yourself more with people who are of the same thinking.  

You've struggled with your anxiety through this.  o you intend to take some time out for yourself before getting back in the saddle?  What would you want to change if anything as you enter back into the dating arena?

Hey HQ, what I want in a rs is affirmation, and communication. So far, none of that is exhibited from her. It’s felt like mind games. Whether it’s intentional or not, that’s what it feels like. Like tests. It threw me off my center. She portrayed herself as this catch since day 1, and all these guys after her and she’s a prize. As each date progressed she got more and more distant. She “accidentally” sent me a snap of going out somewhere with some one else. Replies became shorter and shorter and the time between became shorter as well.

Of course I’m anxious and could mean anything. I was so scared of being ghosted. And it happened.

Yes, I’m going to take time out from dating. I spent all summer dating multiple girls. I have never received so much attention from girls before. I’m not sure what happened. I went from a guy to barely getting girls interested to having multiple and even at a point talking to 3 different girls. At this point I wasn’t anxious and confident and I should not place all my eggs in one basket. You guys all mentioned this before.

School will start and I will focus on my grades first. I need to focus on myself more. I’ve always put myself second.

[CryWolf]

I'm wondering what can be learned from this? What would happen if, instead of focusing on one girl in particular, you pick out say three or four who interest you, hang out be friends? Get to know them before focusing in on one and even if one stands out as being special, spend time with others to keep the emotional and time investment at a more moderate level for a few months?

I'm curious to know other things about you... .what are you studying? What are your passions, your career and life goals?

Hey space!
What can be learned is to not give my heart so easily. No matter how pretty or gorgeous they are. No matter how much we have so much in common. Read the signs. Be the catch. Let them come to me. Don’t put pressure on it no matter how much you want it to work.

I really hoped this would work. Oh well.

I’m currently in school trying to get a bio degree. Going to pharmacy school after. My hobbies include sports, working on my car for fun, going to festivals, exploring. My life goal is to be travel everywhere. I’m not sure what I’m passionate about anymore.

[steelwork]

Do you think it’s possible that what felt like testing from her actually pulled you into the situation more deeply? Along the way, I noticed you putting a lot of effort into pleasing her/impressing her—and also expressing a lot of anxiety about falling behind in the race with these other suitors you seemed to be imagining. I’m wondering if there might have been a “repetition compulsion” aspect to this—something about her and her communication style that made it seem so urgent that you “win” her.

Can you think of other times you felt you had to prove you were worth loving... .of value... .?

If this is off-base, I apologize.

And I am very sorry this hurt so much. It would be a shame if the only lesson you took away was “don’t try.”

[CryWolf]

Do you think it’s possible that what felt like testing from her actually pulled you into the situation more deeply? Along the way, I noticed you putting a lot of effort into pleasing her/impressing her—and also expressing a lot of anxiety about falling behind in the race with these other suitors you seemed to be imagining. I’m wondering if there might have been a “repetition compulsion” aspect to this—something about her and her communication style that made it seem so urgent that you “win” her.

Can you think of other times you felt you had to prove you were worth loving... .of value... .?

If this is off-base, I apologize.

And I am very sorry this hurt so much. It would be a shame if the only lesson you took away was “don’t try.”

Hey you’re not off based at all. I questioned all this through mount dating her. And I made the same distinctions with my BPD ex and what she did when I first met her.

Both these girls are both insecure as hell. Both don’t like pictures.
Both gave off the impression they have so many guys over them and they have options.
My BPD ex lied about having multiple guys after her and her ex and etc.
This girl told me she left both her exes and she never had her heart broken, etc. how she stayed only because they were both lonely.

Of course both girls had value and devalue phase.
Even This girl did it. First few dates, “you’re nothing like these other girls I date” “you’re not needy or insecure at all” “I love how you talk to me during the day”

Text her during the day then she stops replying and breadcrumbs. Didn’t make sense. She said she liked talking during the day. Then only replies late at night once.

On our last date. She says “you’re just like every brown boy” I’m Persian, and I guess she had a thing for brown people? Lol idk. And she said that. It lowkey hurt but I didn’t act bothered. But why say that? Testing?
Then she tells me she’s moving and got me in my feelings. Tells me she wants to see me again when I drop her off.
Then I start sending more messages and trying to see her before she left for good. This lead to me chasing.

One other thing I noticed. She told me she had work Sunday evening. And I asked her if she wanted to get food before work. She sends me a snap in bed during the time she was supposed to be at work.

She told me she’s always out and always busy and always with people. But then I remember one brief moment I think I caught her telling the truth that all she does is stay in bed and watch YouTube videos and lives a boring life.

Nothing makes sense.

This was too familiar with my BPD ex dynamics.

Not sure if she liked the attention or power or what. My ex did.

[Harley Quinn]

Hey HQ, what I want in a rs is affirmation, and communication. So far, none of that is exhibited from her. It’s felt like mind games. Whether it’s intentional or not, that’s what it feels like. Like tests. It threw me off my center.

Of course I’m anxious and could mean anything. I was so scared of being ghosted. And it happened.

Hi Cry,

I've tied the two statements above together as I feel they are connected.  When you say that the fact that she didn't offer you what you value in a r/s (what is important to us in a r/s is a r/s value - something to try to remain in line with for ourselves) it threw you off centre, can you describe how that felt?  Like literally felt in your body.  Where did this affect you?  How would you describe the sensation?  It might be like a tight chest or just a sense of unease and discomfort - perhaps feelings along the lines of... .wait for it... .anxiety maybe?

The reason I say this is because we're all equipped with a finely tuned measuring device.  Our intuition.  And that intuition is often speaking clearly to us when we have these feelings in our body.  That sense of something not being right.  It is an early warning system to say 'hold on, your values are not being met here and are out of alignment with this person's'.  It could also be saying - probably further down the line from the 3 date mark but sometimes earlier - your boundaries are being trampled on.

When we ignore these feelings, or push harder to 'make things fit' or 'be right', we are not in tune with our own highly sophisticated internal tech and can begin to feel more and more discomfort, in whatever form it arises.  I noticed that your anxiety level seemed to be on the increase as the interactions built up over time.  Does that sound about right to you?

Maybe a takeaway for you is to pay close attention to what your instincts are telling you and to trust them.  They know what they're on about.  If a potential r/s makes you feel so uncomfortable before it even really starts, that isn't a good sign.  I'd say things have gone as well as they could in that you've come to a natural close on this one.  What I'd be asking myself is what was I pursuing that so clearly didn't match with my own personal goals for a r/s and why?

There is also something to be said for dread.  Law of attraction.  What we focus on becomes.  I'm glad you're going to focus on yourself and put yourself first.  That's a good habit to develop, along with the thought processes around what you DO want.  Keep that front and centre.  You have nothing to lose.  Sometimes the smallest shifts can have large effects.   

Love and light x

[steelwork]

Hey you’re not off based at all. I questioned all this through mount dating her. And I made the same distinctions with my BPD ex and what she did when I first met her.

Hey CW--I was thinking about maybe an older dynamic. Maybe something with your family? Can you think of any reason you'd be particularly sensitive to rejection?

Do you know the term "repetition compulsion"? From Wikipedia:

Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats a traumatic event or its circumstances over and over again. This includes reenacting the event or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to happen again.

There are theories about why we do this... .in general, it may be because we're hoping to change the outcome, gain some control, discharge our volatile emotions.

[spacecadet]

Enjoy knowing more about you! You sound like a really neat person to know, to hang out with. You have clear goals and discipline to be on this career path. :D Travel is another clear goal. Have you thought about living in another country for a semester or year?

If I can be "buzzkill mama space cadet" for a moment... .   be careful about illegal drugs. In some states you can be busted for being in the same car with someone who has a stash. Doesn't matter that you had no knowledge of it. Could impact your ability to be licensed in your chosen field.

You view this as ghosting, I view it as, you impressed her enough to win 3 dates with someone who you consider very attractive. It's human nature that someone who makes themselves scarce appears more valuable. Doesn't mean they are in fact more valuable.

It's hard to say in retrospect how much she has emotional instability traits (saying contradictory things) and how much is, she's trying to figure out who she is, on her own and in r/s. The remark about her not wanting to be in a r/s because she becomes too clingy strikes me as being a very honest thing to say, makes her vulnerable to you. One reason people leave a r/s whether long term or nascent is that the other person "knows too much." Has nothing to do with you, she may have become comfortable enough to open up but checked herself because she does not want to be vulnerable with anyone right now.

Regardless, it wasn't a good fit which means there is someone (probably many someones) who will be a better fit. What you say about hanging back more is spot on. True at the beginning of a r/s, also true once you're deep into one. We all need a combination of intimacy and space, room to breathe.

On our last date. She says “you’re just like every brown boy” I’m Persian, and I guess she had a thing for brown people? Lol idk. And she said that. It lowkey hurt but I didn’t act bothered.

Ouch! What the heck does that mean? Why did you cover up the fact that this bothered you? I wonder what would have happened if you busted her on this, even if by staying calm and asking what she meant.

Confidence is always attractive. It's something that we can fake in small moments, but overall it's much deeper than that, comes from accomplishing things and knowing our true value at a deep level. Grows with time and tests. You'll get there I know it. 

[BeagleGirl]

Crywolf,
I've been following your processing of this relationship.  It has been a big help to me, since I have some of the same fears and confusion about entering a new relationship.  Thank you for sharing your journey so openly.

I wanted to share my perspective on a few things and see if you might want to try it on for size.

I am technically old enough to be your mother, so maybe I'm not as well versed in the words you kids use these days, but I feel like you may be misinterpreting your latest experience when you say that this girl "ghosted" you.  From my perspective, reading the progression of this relationship since the beginning, I think that you found someone who clearly communicated to you in the beginning that she wasn't looking/ready for a serious relationship.  She showed interest in you and enjoyed the time you spent together.  She may have even been reconsidering her readiness/willingness and signaling that at times.  Ultimately, she decided continuing the interaction with you was not what she wanted.  She informed you that she was no longer available (whether moving to NYC was a lie or not, that was ultimately what she was communicating) and is no longer offering hope of continued interaction.  As an outsider, I'm willing to chalk some of the mixed signals and even the lies up to immaturity on her part.  Being rejected is really hard but doing the rejection isn't exactly a walk in the park for most people either.  In my opinion, she gave you adequate indication (again, it may have been a lie, but I'm putting that aside for the moment) that she was no longer interested in seeing you.  She probably left the door cracked open for hope, either because she was still uncertain of what she wanted or because she doesn't really know how to close that door for someone, and you weren't really ready to hear what she was saying.  That makes for a more difficult closure when she follows through with ending contact, but I wouldn't call that ghosting.  

Why do I think it's important to drop the word "ghosted"?  I think that perceiving yourself as the victim of ghosting may limit your ability to learn from this.  I definitely think that she could have handled this better, but I'm seeing this as someone who has 20 years more experience with life than either of you.  Enough to know that a 20 something woman is most likely going to do things imperfectly and, in doing so, cause more hurt than necessary.  I also know that when a man is not listening to your cues you have to make the decision between fight (look buddy, I'm just not ready for what you are asking of me) or flight (I'm moving to NYC, and so sorry, but we can't hang out anymore) and both of them will most likely result in hurt feelings.  And I also know that a man can SAY he's okay with this not being a serious relationship, but you can see it in his eyes and actions when he is building his world around you, no matter how cool he thinks he's playing it.

I'll touch on one more subject, though I know I'm at risk for sounding like a mom giving a lecture.  I understand that you don't have an issue with recreational drug use.  I get that it can be a part of experiencing the world and an alternative to prescription meds to deal with anxiety and such.  I don't think it HAS to be a red flag or issue if someone is using the recreational drugs responsibly.  Here comes the BUT.  BUT I think you need to always consider someone using recreational drugs (I include alcohol) as somewhat impaired while under the influence.  If you look back on your interactions with this girl, a fair number of them were when she was in an impaired state.  This means that her decision making ability was not fully engaged.  She may have said and done things that she wouldn't otherwise have said and done.  She may have regretted those things when more sober.  Recreational drug doesn't necessarily correlate with poor judgement (my worst decisions were made stone cold sober), but I think it should be seen as part of the context around your narrative.

So those are my thoughts.  I'm glad that you will have school to refocus on, and I do hope you meet that girl in class that makes you believe there's still hope for love.  I also hope that you will continue learning from these relationships.  

Best Wishes,
BeagleGirl

[Harley Quinn]

Hi CryWolf,

I just wanted to highlight that steelwork, spacecadet and BeagleGirl have all had some really wise things to say to you and some excellent insights and advice to share.  I hope that you are absorbing all of this and will keep these things in mind as you patch yourself up and move forwards to better things for yourself. 

How are you doing at present?  Did you look into repetition compulsion which steelwork mentioned?  We have some information on the site on this and I posted about the topic here with a link to one of the articles (reply #2).  Perhaps some bedtime reading for you out of interest.

Love and light x

[CryWolf]

Hey all! i took some time away, and reflected. I was looking for answers and was fixated on "why" with this girl. I wondered why she still followed me on social media when she wanted to end things. Shouldnt she just block me on social media too? I dont know.

I am doing a lot better. school starts this week. And have been keeping myself busy with friends and letting go of this girl.

I was very upset about what happened, but Im happy it happended and met someone who was interested. I guess timing was just wrong and she stopped herself from getting serious, because it seemed like it was getting serious.

Steelwork im not sure to be honest. I noticed I meet girls whom have mental issues, and they get interested in me, and vise versa. I dont play a savior or white knight, but its just who I attract. I dont get it.

I know it has to do with my dad leaving at a young age and never returning. and then leaving again when i was older in different circumstances. I also think i never received a lot of physical affection as a child, more so presents and gifts. This is probably why im very affectionate.

As to relationships, me and my t think it has to be cuz of my dad leaving and me finding girls to stay that my dad couldnt. who knows. but its not like i go looking for emotionally unavailable girls. it just comes .

SpaceCadet youre not being a buzzkill! But very true! I was not aware of this until my friend also mentioned what you mentioned about the drugs. I didnt think it was a big deal but yes, this could definitely land me in trouble. Probably not good for a long term rs either. someone can get addicted, etc.

As for her statement, I did call her out but she was quiet. I think it was just the wine and possibly weed making her say dumb things. Who knows at this point.

But yes, she did tell me so many personal things. And she even told me shes told me a lot than she even has told her own friends. Perhaps this is why we were getting close and she wasnt ready. It sucks, but im glad i let her be herself and open up. Maybe thats why she left the door open? idk.

BeagleGirl
your interpretation of the situation was pretty sound. I also think thats what happened, and this is what allowed me to accept the situation and move on. She gave me three dates when she said she doesnt do second dates. she had nothing but fun with me. she opened up to me, told her mom and brother about me. things were getting serious maybe too fast. and she saw my dates and how romantic they were. she liked them too. and perhaps it was she was getting feelings when she told herself she didnt want to. who knows? but it seems like a possibility. a possibility i would hope is true.

i gave her the benefit of the doubt, like my therapist said to do. sadly she was immature on her part, but it happens. she probably couldnt hurt my feelings and this was easier for her. its fine.

Youre right about me being okay with not being in a serious relationship, and my actions deem otherwise.

A lot of times she was high, and this probably why everything was wishy washy or contradicting. probably why sometimes she was close then push back a bit. drugs play a huge part on our psyche. and whether someone is anxious or calm.

i thought our first date was gonna be our last. i smoked with her. but no she wanted to see me again. second date, was amazing. she smoked and i guess i got contact high which wasnt bad and i didnt overthink. third date, both smoked again + wine and same dynamics as first date which lead to anxieties. we both have anxiety, so this isnt good .

so yes i can see how rec drugs played a part in cognitive and overthinking and us both saying things good or bad.

[CryWolf]

SO I bumped into my friend on campus that I haven’t spoken to in a long time. She told me about her ex and how I met him at the same party I met this girl. She told me how he had sex with this girl named ___. Same name of the girl I dated.  I showed her a pic and she said yes that’s her.

She told me he had sex with her while they were still together so they broke up. And I told her how I dated her for a month and she wanted to take things slow and how she said she doesn’t sleep around, etc. how she’s not a player and the only times she had sex were in serious 1 year relationships.

My friend told me, she heard that she wasn’t looking for anything serious and she got out of a relationship. And she’s been sleeping around with anyone. That She’s been sleeping around with any guy and she said even her friend almost had sex with her.

She told me how she went to New York but came back. I was shocked.

Why did this girl waste my time and get close and serious with me when if she just wanted sex she could have told me. Instead I got mixed messages, time wasted, headaches, and heartbreak.

But she had sex with this dude while I was dating her and treating her with respect and patience and not pushing for anything. I feel like a fool.

My friends ex is a narcissist and she showed me how he manipulated her through messages, 60 missed phone calls, he even lied to me when I met him and told me he was single and she broke up with him and I pitied him. She told me none of that was true and they were working on their relationship. They even went on a trip together but he was telling people he was single.

Why is it that this guy whose a ___ person prevails with the girl I liked, while I feel like a dumbass.

[CryWolf]

Im really upset and I’m trying to let this go. But I feel so stupid that I put all this time with someone and she ended up sleeping with some ass dude

[Insom]

Hey, CryWolf.  It sounds like your pride is piqued.  I know you put a lot of effort into your dates with this young woman.  Unfortunately, dating isn't like making grades or getting a promotion at work.  (Would that it were that straightforward!)  The amount of work you put in doesn't necessarily correlate with success.  There's very often something extra involved that has to do with chemistry and timing - things you can't control no matter how good/earnest/fit/smart/deserving you are.   

FWIW, when you find someone more simpatico dating should feel a lot easier and more fun for you than it did this go-round.  And a lot less stressful. 

You mentioned in another post you'd received some fun-sounding invitations from another group of friends (which must have felt great!) How is that going? 

[BeagleGirl]

Why is it that this guy whose a ___ person prevails with the girl I liked, while I feel like a dumbass.

Crywolf,
Not to put a sunny spin on something that I know is really painful for you, but I see what happened slightly differently.

You were looking for something she couldn't give you - a real relationship.
Mr. Please Read was looking for something she was willing to offer - sex.

You misread/were mislead about what she could offer.  There really is no shame that.  Maybe this experience will help you read more accurately and be less prone to being mislead. 

The thing is, from all I have read in your posts, I don't think that you would have been happy with what Mr. Please Read got from her.  You wanted more than just sex.  My personal feeling is that she did you a favor by not sleeping with you.  My hope is that she did it because she recognized that you were of a higher quality and would not be satisfied with "meaningless" sex.  I like to think that of her because it gives me hope that she might actually be worthy of some of the regard you gave her and capable of some day being ready for what someone like you has to offer.

So that's the BeagleGirl view of things.  I know it doesn't take away the pain or sense of foolishness that you're feeling right now, but I hope it helps you see yourself a bit more clearly.  I don't see you as a fool.

BG

[once removed]

i really like BeagleGirl's and Insom's read on this.

how she’s not a player and the only times she had sex were in serious 1 year relationships.

the only thing id add is that people tend to (or at least try to) put their best foot forward on first dates, present the best, most appealing version of themselves... .maybe say what they think we want to hear. we all do this to varying extents.

i dont want to encourage you not to trust anybody. just dont put a ton of stock in that sort of thing, take it with a grain of salt. sometimes its not the full truth, sometimes their minds change. getting to really know a person takes a long time.

[CryWolf]

Ive been self reflecting the past few days. I dont think this situation was healthy to begin with. It was fun and a good learning experience. It brought up some insecurities in me, and i disregarded my gut feeling which isnt bad to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the signs were potentially there.

I did nothing wrong but show her a good time, but the situation sucked.

I hung out with my female friend, the same one who told me about this girl and her ex hooking up. and she told me more stories because they all have mutual friends, and also her ex told her as well. That this girl is having sex with a bunch of people, one including someone who has std's but is on medication for to treat it. Im not trying to throw any disrespect, but the stories all make sense. She was confusing me on our dates, and misremembering things I told her, but it made sense because the information she was giving back to me was about my friends exboyfriend who I also know. 

I am lucky I did not get involved. And not get in this headache of things, as well as all the drug use she had. At first I thought it was recreational, but it turned into some hard stuff, heroine, coke, shrooms, acid, even prescription drugs.

Not a good thing for me, since I want to pursue pharmacy.

I guess sometimes, things happen for a blessing. This was not the path meant for me, or fate/destiny played a role into it. Im not sure. I just feel good.