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Author Topic: Music for Detaching  (Read 361 times)
Zemmma
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« on: July 27, 2018, 01:31:39 AM »

I think many of you will relate to these lyrics... Watch the video here... but the thing with the horse... Don't try this at home!

https://youtu.be/cOBPiOdyGEM

Ditmas

And in time
As one reminds the other of the past
A life lived much too fast to hold onto
How am I losing you?

A broken house
Another dry month waiting for the rain
And I had been resisting this decay
I thought you'd do the same

But this is all I ever was
And this is all you came across those years ago
Now you go too far
Don't tell me that I've changed because that's not the truth
And now I'm losing you

Fragile sound
The world outside just watches as we crawl
Crawl towards a life of fragile lines
And wasted time

And so I cry
As I hold you for the last time in this life
This life I tried so hard to give to you
What would you have me do?

Where I used to end was where you start
You were the only one
And now I see your eyes move too fast
You were the only one

Careful hands
And wandering without that much to say
Your words are empty as the bed we made
Is there another way?
Oh love, is there another way?

And now I'm losing you


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Mustbeabetterway
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« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2018, 08:25:04 AM »

Hi Zemmma,

Nice video, thanks for the link.  I definitely would not try that at home

Which phrases in the lyrics really resonate with you?  Maybe others would share what they can relate to in these lyrics.

I can relate to many parts, but especially the end now that I am pretty much detached, "Is there another way? Oh love, is there another way?"  I wish there was another way for my relationship to go, but it seems not.  So I'm making a way on my own though I miss parts of our relationship very much. 

How are you doing?  Are you making progress in your detaching?

Peace and blessings,

Mustbeabetterway
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toomanydogs
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« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2018, 10:26:50 AM »

I love Mumford and Sons, and I never heard this song. Thanks.
It'd be cool to get an idea from others what songs they've used in detaching.
TMD
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Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world... Einstein
Sirnut
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« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2018, 11:47:03 AM »

I like these music threads. There’s something strangely reassuring about hearing a song that captures your experience. It lets you know there are others out there who know what it’s like.

My song is Most of the Time, by Bob Dylan. To me it somehow captures that mixture of loss and defiance that are at the heart of the detaching process.

Here’s an extract and link:

Most of the time
I'm clear focused all around
Most of the time
I can keep both feet on the ground
I can follow the path
I can read the signs
Stay right with it
When the road unwinds
I can handle whatever
I stumble upon
I don't even notice
She's gone
Most of the time

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SQbr4ISrjII
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Wicker Man
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« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2018, 12:20:27 PM »

This is a song from Moby I had begun listening to after meeting my undiagnosed lover.  To this day it still strikes a haunting chord and I have difficulty listening to it.  It, for me, exemplifies the ironic and tragic nature of loving someone suffering from BPD. 

All the people in her life who loved her the most knew the full brunt of her fury.  We were all tested to the point of breaking --I failed the 'destructive failure' test and left her.

"The Great Escape"

I'll use a lock that has no key
Bind you with chains
That no one else can see

Let the water creep over your face
I'll send it in waves
Just to watch you perform the great escape

How long can you hold your breath
While you hold mine again and wait
Just to watch you perform the great escape

I'll pull your arms tight behind you back
Use myself as weight
And wonder while you fade

How long can you hold your breath
While you hold mine again and wait
Just to watch you perform the great escape
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        A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?
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« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2018, 01:31:44 PM »

i listened to a whole lot of eminem, particularly the Recovery album. really self empowering stuff, and i consciously avoided sad songs.

some years after Detaching he released this as a bonus track on a new album that i sure could have used at the time, but i found very poignant. interestingly, its about the only song in his catalog without profanity  Smiling (click to insert in post)

choruses cut for brevity.

I can feel the heat rising
Everything is on fire
Today is a painful reminder of why
It can only get brighter
The further you put it behind ya
But right now I'm on the inside
Lookin out, cause

I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light

Yesterday was the tornado warning, today is like the morning after
Your world is torn in half, you wake in its wake to start the mourning process
Rebuilding and you're still a work in progress
Today is a whole new chapter, it's like an enormous ass
thunderstorm has passed ya
You weathered it and poked its eye out with the thorn bush that you
Used to smell the roses, stopped to inhale can't even tell your nose is stuffed
So focused on the brightside, then you floor the gas pedal
And hit the corner faster, more assertive
Never looking back, may hit the curb
But everyday is a new learning curve, as you steer through life
Sometimes you might not wanna swerve
But you have to to avert a disaster, lucky no permanent damage
Cause they hurt you so bad, it's like they murdered your ass
And threw dirt on your casket, but you returned from the ashes
And that hurt that you have, you just converted to gasoline
And while you're burning the past, standing at inferno and chant

So familiarize with what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it's as though you feel you've died because you've been killed inside
But yet you're still alive which means you will survive
Although today you may weep because you're weak and
Everything seems so bleak and hopeless
The light that you're seeking, it begins to seep in
That's the only thing keepin' you from leapin' off the motherfreaking deep end
And I'm pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healin'
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you're willing
To forgive them even after all that ____ you been put through
This feeling of resilience is building and the flames are burning
Quick as fire wood through this building, you're sealed in
But you're fireproof flame retardant you withstood it
And as you climb up to the roof you're just chillin' and you look down
Cause you're so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceilin'
As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remaining the same
But tomorrow today's goin' down in flames
Throw the match set the past ablaze
So feel the fire beneath your feet
As you barely even perspire from the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell
Still a little piece of you dies, you scream
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
JNChell
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« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2018, 09:35:12 PM »

2 full albums for you.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=97sYm0Bkd3Y&index=8&list=PLyI3z-7R4O1khpd8nxPuVg4T-oT9s2BD9

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dWy3Q30Cn2A&list=PLD6245C6E0DE40AE1
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“Adversity can destroy you, or become your best seller.”
-a new friend
RomanticFool
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« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2018, 12:37:00 AM »

I listened to two versions of Baby Blue. The first one was Badfinger and after watching the last episode of Breaking Bad I posted it on Twitter. My ex actually asked me if I directed it at her. I guess the bit about ‘The special love I had for you’ was really.

https://youtu.be/9rVt7nZTPBA

“Guess I got what I deserved, Kept you waiting there too long my love... ”.

The second version is Van Morrison’s version of Baby Blue:

https://youtu.be/jdb_3H-28dE

“The sky too is falling in over you, And it’s all over now Baby Blue... .”

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JNChell
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« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2018, 01:07:37 AM »

 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=maWt1XtKoak
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“Adversity can destroy you, or become your best seller.”
-a new friend
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