New member. Daughter diagnosed with BPD. 33 yrs old.

[Taj]

My 36 year old dtr just died of an accidental overdose.  I feared this much of her life.  She had BPD, but got clean, mellowed out, and moved to help take care of me. I have had many surgeries and been ill for 5 years.  My youngest dtr also has BPD, not treated since she was 18, and flips quickly about how she feels about us.  She is sending very toxic texts to us, which is her pattern.  She was visiting and started up on us again, ending up screeching at us in the driveway too, before driving away.  I have blocked her.  I am so grieving the loss of my oldest dtr and can't take any more abuse.  We seem to always accept her back when she returns back, but she refuses to be accountable.  I also have a son with BPD who is treated.  My oldest dtr was in treatment too.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello Taj, let me welcome you here and say straight away how my heart goes out to you, your pain must be immeasurable at this time. I am so so sorry to hear about the accidental death of your eldest daughter, no parent should have to go through this 

How awful for you to have to contend with the abusive behaviour of your youngest daughter at this really sad time, I hope that you are able to grieve in peace now that you have blocked her. May I ask Taj, what support do you have right now, do you have friends and family that you can call on?

You say that your son has BPD too and he is in treatment, how is he doing and what is your relationship like with him?

Sending you hugs Taj and thinking of you x   

[wendydarling]

Dear Taj 

Welcome, I extend my deepest condolences to you for your loss of your beautiful daughter.

We are all here listening, to support you in your grief and help you move forwards, gently.

What support do you have from elder family and friends at this tragic time?

WDx

[Taj]

We have some support: my brother, my husband and I for each other, and a good friend.  Thank you for your warm response.  I have felt pain like this...   By the way, my family is bipolar.  But it was suggested I also look at borderline because of her ongoing pattern.

[Taj]

Hello Taj, let me welcome you here and say straight away how my heart goes out to you, your pain must be immeasurable at this time. I am so so sorry to hear about the accidental death of your eldest daughter, no parent should have to go through this 

How awful for you to have to contend with the abusive behaviour of your youngest daughter at this really sad time, I hope that you are able to grieve in peace now that you have blocked her. May I ask Taj, what support do you have right now, do you have friends and family that you can call on?

You say that your son has BPD too and he is in treatment, how is he doing and what is your relationship like with him?

Sending you hugs Taj and thinking of you x   

Thank you.  My son has done well through life.  He has a master's now and a great job he's been with for years.  Also a wonderful wife and young son.  He lives 2/3rds across the US. He takes of his bipolar with counseling, meds and care for himself.

[Feeling Better]

Hi Taj

I am so pleased to hear that you have good support in place with your family and friend. I’m wondering though, have you considered grief counselling as an option too?

It sounds like your son is doing really well for himself, you must be really proud of him.

Just wondering Taj, how are you? How are you feeling today? x