Catering to them

[Depression = 72% of members]

In thinking about my 5 year relationship and reading about PDs and abuse I realised I was trained/groomed into catering to him and his way and not opposing or confronting him.

I 'm trying to understand why they do this and why being easygoig, compromising and negotiating doesn't seem to be what they do. Is it an inability on their part, or a need to win or something else? Hope others can help me make sense of it. Thanks.

[BreatheFirst]

In thinking about my 5 year relationship and reading about PDs and abuse I realised I was trained/groomed into catering to him and his way and not opposing or confronting him.

I 'm trying to understand why they do this and why being easygoig, compromising and negotiating doesn't seem to be what they do. Is it an inability on their part, or a need to win or something else? Hope others can help me make sense of it. Thanks.

[Mustbeabetterway]

Hi BreatheFirst,

Good question. It seems to me that easy going people are able to regulate their emotions. They don’t get ruffled easily and don’t get blown about by every thing that blows their way. 

According to what I have read, people with BPD react to their changing emotions.  It’s hard to be easy going and unruffled if your reacting to your ever changing emotions. 

Another question is why do work so hard at being non confrontational ?  Are we afraid of confrontation?  What attracts us to our opposites? 

Looking forward to hearing what you think,

Mustbeabetterway