Oops I did it again

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in some time as I was recovered from my last relationship. It took me a year and a half and was ready to invest in a relationship again which I did. Clearly I still have work to do as I chose a partner whose trauma past manifested itself in extremely low self esteem that played out behaviorally with online stalking, power and control to the point of telling me who I could or could not speak with, emotional hostage taking, and the list goes on. The relationship only lasted six months and I just concluded it as I was tired of how I was feeling. All this while I was experiencing major back problems and eventual surgery. I am sadenned to have invested yet again only to choose a partner who had several BPD traits. Clearly I have work to do. I have blocked her from all communication and social media as this was her venue to keep the craziness going, and I would take the bait. Presently I am experiencing loneliness and the fight within myself to contact her and sort things out... .which I know is not mine to own. What a drag. I once read of a guy who refused to have any more relationships because of his choices in partners. I'm getting there despite wanting a relationship. Clearly I have more work to do. Thanks for reading, any comments are helpful. This site helped me immensely a year and a half ago and was instrumental in me being able to move forward.

[Icefog]

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in some time as I was recovered from my last relationship. It took me a year and a half and was ready to invest in a relationship again which I did. Clearly I still have work to do as I chose a partner whose trauma past manifested itself in extremely low self esteem that played out behaviorally with online stalking, power and control to the point of telling me who I could or could not speak with, emotional hostage taking, and the list goes on. The relationship only lasted six months and I just concluded it as I was tired of how I was feeling. All this while I was experiencing major back problems and eventual surgery. I am sadenned to have invested yet again only to choose a partner who had several BPD traits. Clearly I have work to do. I have blocked her from all communication and social media as this was her venue to keep the craziness going, and I would take the bait. Presently I am experiencing loneliness and the fight within myself to contact her and sort things out... .which I know is not mine to own. What a drag. I once read of a guy who refused to have any more relationships because of his choices in partners. I'm getting there despite wanting a relationship. Clearly I have more work to do. Thanks for reading, any comments are helpful. This site helped me immensely a year and a half ago and was instrumental in me being able to move forward.

[Mutt]

Hi Icefog,



Im glad to hear that you found that the members helped you and you helped others too by being here. Don’t be hard on yourself I have a feeling that you identified the behaviours sooner this time and you probably high tailed it out of there quicker too.

I’m sorry to hear that you have major back problems that must of been really hard to deal with at the same time with a person with BPD traits. My advice to you is I know that it’s discouraging don’t give up you’ll find someone that’s going to be good to you and not be bad for you. You are that you need some more polish you can work on yourself at the same as seeking someone for a r/s.

Checking in and taking a break is a good idea. Did you have a T the last time?

[once removed]

what happened in the relationship? tell us more.

what sort of work do you think needs doing?