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Author Topic: At our wit’s end, stepdaughter has caused turmoil, stress, anxiety, unhappiness  (Read 387 times)
needmylifeback

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« on: November 08, 2018, 11:44:19 AM »

I just stumbled upon this forum and am so glad I did.  It makes me extremely sad that so many people are going through this, yet relieved to have found peers who understand.  

My 28 year old step-daughter suffers from BPD and has caused  so much turmoil, stress, anxiety, unhappiness, etc. in our lives. I honestly don't know how much more her father and I can take of her hostility.

I will be posting more I'm sure. And wishing peace and strength to all of you.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2018, 04:46:07 PM »

Hello needmylifeback

Welcome to bpdfamily.

My 28 year old step-daughter suffers from BPD and has caused  so much turmoil, stress, anxiety, unhappiness, etc. in our lives. I honestly don't know how much more her father and I can take of her hostility.

I am so sorry to hear of this, sadly, having someone with BPD in our lives can be extremely distressing, and it can be really difficult to know what to do for the best. We are here and we can help and support you with your relationship with your stepdaughter. Has she been diagnosed? Does she live with you and her father?

Hope to hear more from you when you feel ready x  
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If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading ~ Lao Tzu
needmylifeback

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 7


« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2018, 07:36:26 PM »

Thank you for reaching out.

She is diagnosed but doesnt seem to accept the diagnosis. She thinks that the only things wrong with her are anxiety and adhd. And blames those things on other people i.e. everybody else is stupid, screwing her over, etc. therefore causing her anxiety. I see her personality or behavior all throughout these message boards. There is no doubt that this is BPD.

She does not live with us. Her mother lets her live with her rent free. She (her mother) doesnt get it half as bad as we do because of that fact.

As far as a relationship with her I have long given up on that. I am too fragile for the hate she spews. I am just cordial when i interact with her and want a good relationship for her and her father. But my husband at the moment is saying: no more. Its completely heartbreaking.
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« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2018, 05:35:42 PM »

She is diagnosed but doesnt seem to accept the diagnosis. She thinks that the only things wrong with her are anxiety and adhd. And blames those things on other people i.e. everybody else is stupid, screwing her over, etc. therefore causing her anxiety.

Sadly not all people diagnosed with BPD take it well and can still remain in denial, preferring to believe that the diagnosis is wrong and that it’s not them, it’s others who are causing their problems. It’s frustrating when all you want to do is help them but they just lay the blame where they see fit.

Excerpt
As far as a relationship with her I have long given up on that. I am too fragile for the hate she spews. I am just cordial when i interact with her and want a good relationship for her and her father. But my husband at the moment is saying: no more. Its completely heartbreaking.

I am sorry to hear that you are too fragile to cope with her and have given up on having a relationship with her, but despite this, you want to support your husband, help him to have a good relationship with his daughter. Yes, it is heartbreaking when relationships break down. You say that your husband has said “no more”, do you think that he will change his mind at some point?

FB x
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