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Author Topic: My 25 year old son  (Read 385 times)
Mbw

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« on: November 10, 2018, 05:27:24 PM »

My son just got out of a 30 day residential treatment program and after 5 days he is back to being depressed ruminating and fighting with his girlfried. I am distraught. He did not use any of the skills I though he would have learned. Any advice?
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2018, 05:31:08 PM »

hi Mbw, and Welcome

the skills hes learning, like the skills taught here, can require a lot of practice, and there will be ups and downs, sometimes steep ones.

tell us more about whats going on. what led to him being in the residential treatment program, and whats going on with his girlfriend?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Mbw

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2018, 08:39:04 PM »

He had a Suicide attempt. Then went into a major meltdown. He knew he needed help and was willing. The facility recommended their gold standard of treatment which is there 30 day stay. They confirmed BPD diagnosis. When he was admitted I thought girlfriend situation was over. Which was part of the initial meltdown. But when he was in RTF they started talking again and she was proud of him and wanted to see him the day he was let out. She did and then a few day later he wanted to talk because he was feeling down and she said she couldn’t deal with him because she had her own issues etc. now he is back to where he was before he went into RTF. I can’t help him. I try to listen and he says some of the most offensive things about people and her. I know I should just listen and affirm what he says but I am finding it so hard on me.  Paragraph header  (click to insert in post)
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Hyacinth Bucket
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« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2018, 07:40:01 AM »

Hi Mbw,

Does your son live with you?

Is he in any kind of ongoing therapy?

Sorry for all the questions, I want to get a clear picture of what you're going through.
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Mbw

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2018, 10:20:28 AM »

He lives 2 hours away from us. He has been seeing a therapist once a week for a couple months now and is scheduled to start DBT next week, for once a week sessions. He seems committed to getting therapy and DBT, but I am so worried he is going to attempt suicide again. I think I my have a little PTSD after finding him unconscious after his suicide attempt. He seems fine until he is not and then he goes to this dark place and life sucks, people are evil, he has no friends etc.
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« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2018, 02:34:07 PM »

I try to listen and he says some of the most offensive things about people and her. I know I should just listen and affirm what he says but I am finding it so hard on me.  Paragraph header  (click to insert in post)

depends... .listen without agenda, yes... .if affirm means validating the invalid, probably not.

I think I my have a little PTSD after finding him unconscious after his suicide attempt.

this would no doubt be agonizing and traumatic, and it wasnt long ago at all. have you considered seeing a therapist for yourself? a strong support system is really critical (this group is a great adjunct to the therapeutic relationship), and all of this is going to be infinitely harder on you without support. you dont have to face this alone.
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
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