Looking for Local Support Groups or Therapists

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hello, everyone. I am new on this site, and new to processing the fact that my ex very likely suffered from BPD. Like many of you, I didn't know much about BPD before this, but as soon as I began reading, the puzzle pieces began to slip into place, and sorrow began to rise in waves. I was already mourning the loss of our relationship (though I chose to end it) - and now, suddenly I feel like I have to go back and mourn all over again - only this second loss involves revisiting all of our memories through a new lense and losing the idealized version of our relationship I used to believe.

Anyway - though this site has been helpful, I would really like to find a local support group, or therapist who specializes in BPD, to have a safe place where I don't have to mourn alone - and to learn about myself, and the ways in which I was open to the particular flavor of emotional manipulation my ex used to control situations.

I live near Portland Oregon - does anybody know of resources in this area?

Thanks!

[Reina1]

Hello, everyone. I am new on this site, and new to processing the fact that my ex very likely suffered from BPD. Like many of you, I didn't know much about BPD before this, but as soon as I began reading, the puzzle pieces began to slip into place, and sorrow began to rise in waves. I was already mourning the loss of our relationship (though I chose to end it) - and now, suddenly I feel like I have to go back and mourn all over again - only this second loss involves revisiting all of our memories through a new lense and losing the idealized version of our relationship I used to believe.

Anyway - though this site has been helpful, I would really like to find a local support group, or therapist who specializes in BPD, to have a safe place where I don't have to mourn alone - and to learn about myself, and the ways in which I was open to the particular flavor of emotional manipulation my ex used to control situations.

I live near Portland Oregon - does anybody know of resources in this area?

Thanks!

[once removed]

hi Reina1 and

Like many of you, I didn't know much about BPD before this, but as soon as I began reading, the puzzle pieces began to slip into place, and sorrow began to rise in waves.

that was certainly me! on one hand, theres an indescribable relief that there is a label for what weve experienced, there are answers and explanations to our questions, and on the other... .it can leave us with more questions. its a lot to take in.

im glad you reached out, and i hope that youll stick around, and make yourself at home as part of the family here. ive been here for several years myself, and while i processed the relationship many years ago, im still learning and applying invaluable lessons from it that will be with me for life.

Anyway - though this site has been helpful, I would really like to find a local support group, or therapist who specializes in BPD, to have a safe place

bpdfamily is a great adjunct to a professional therapeutic relationship, and finding a good therapist with an understanding of what youve experienced comes highly recommended.

a good place to start is here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

you can screen for qualifications/specialities in your area.

i hope youll tell us more about what brought you here and how we can best support you. how long were the two of you together? you mentioned you initiated the breakup between the two of you, what happened?

[jukeboxhero]

try looking for any of the following support groups: Codependant's Anonymous, NAMI family support, NAMI peer support, Emotions Anonymous

These all have varying areas of focus, but they may be of help to you.

[Mutt]

Hi Reina1,



How are you making out with local help?

I was already mourning the loss of our relationship (though I chose to end it) - and now, suddenly I feel like I have to go back and mourn all over again - only this second loss involves revisiting all of our memories through a new lense and losing the idealized version of our relationship I used to believe.

This is very difficult to go through having to reexamine and process the r/s through a different perspective and come to terms with the fact that the person that you initially met was not the person as a whole but only one half.