What he really wants when he's going through a rough patch is to feel heard. So, I've learned over time that things go better in our relationship - we connect better - when I can validate his feelings even the darker ones like anger or sadness.
Trying to make him happy instead of validating his feelings is fixing isn't it? It's not like I can't make him happy it depends on the situation. That's a good observation Insom.
they no longer see him since the breakup, do i have that right?
That's right she tells the kids that he's not there because their place is not wheelchair accessible and that they were looking for one. When she started menacing me was back in June things relatively quiet before then for at least 4 years she was too busy splitting him black something big happend in her life for her to shift focus on me, I can't wait until this is over I don't interact with her I just don't want the attention I'm hoping that she finds someone else soon.
She was really selfish she interupted everyone in the family because she couldn't cope one day the kids are our old house with me and her and the next they moved out in their own place with mom and then he practically moves in 30 days later at their new place so she forced everyone into this situation without thinking about their needs she was thinking about hers and now he's gone from their lives almost as mysteriously as he entered their lives again she's not thinking about how her decisions or impulsives choices affects thoe around her.
That being said he did take a huge problem off of my hands because I was out of the fire and he was in it and he's in the same situation I'm in now, I just mean that we're both split black.
