How does a BPD grieve death of son

[Sian]

  my BPD partners 24 yr old son hung himself 2 days ago. He normally overreacts to everything. But after a few initial tears he just appears calm.like numbness. He had a bond like I've never seen father- son bond. They spent hours everyday together. I'm worried its a calm before the storm. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Bnonymous]

Sian, this is horrific and I am so sorry you are all going through this. I haven't been through anything similar (thank God!) and I don't have any advice to offer - I just didn't want to read and run.

I would guess you're not getting replies because this is such an awful, tragic situation that none of us know what to say. We can help with the little day-to-day conflicts and break-ups and arguments etc, but this is so big that there just aren't words to soothe it. I am so so sorry. Stay strong. x

[Harri]

Hi.  I am so sorry for what you are all going through right now.

Your partner could very well be shut down.  Everyone experiences grief differently, but the pain of the loss is still there.  It is hard to predict how he will respond or even when.

How are you doing?  We can help support you as you figure out how you can support your SO.

[Kwamina]

Hi Sian,

I'm very sorry your partner and you also experienced such a tragic loss. Losing a family-member like this is horrible. How are you coping yourself?

Was suicidal ideation a known issue of your partner's son? Was this something he had been struggling with?

You are concerned about your partner. People with BPD often have a deep fear of abandonment, the fear is often irrational yet when real losses like this happen, this can have a very deep impact. The irrational fear all of a sudden becomes very real.

We have a resource here that specifically deals with suicide loss. This loss is very recent, but at some point you might find this resource helpful:

Self-help Handbook Recovering From Suicide Loss

Take care and wishing you strength in this difficult time

[Mutt]

Hi Sian,



I'd like to join the others and welcome you to bpdfamily I'm sorry to hear about your pwBPD's S24 that is tragic news. This is a safe place where you can share your true feelings without being judged or invalidated, when you have a pwBPD sometimes you tend to shut down those feelings because you're worried about how your feelings are going to upset the pwBPD.

How has he reacted in the past to stressors' in life no doubt that this is a big one but what about other stressors'?