Post something positive that has happened for you

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Hi, all! A lot of us have found ourselves here due to the aftermath of a heart wrenching experience. The thing is, is that we’re here to remedy that. To heal and move forward with our lives. So, this thread is an attempt to shine a positive light on our situations. I guess I’ll set the mood for the discussion and share something positive that has recently happened to me.

We’ve had an abrupt change in supervision in the department that I work in with the company that I’m employed by. The new supervisor was an internal employee whom I’ve been working closely with as he has been assisting our department. To be fair, he’s brilliant at our trade and it’s been great working with him.

I’ve been with this company for a year and a half. My ex was not supportive at all in me making the move even though I tried to explain that I was trying to find the best fit for our little family. Well, it turns out that this may have been a very good move after all.

My new supervisor had been off work due to his mom being admitted to the hospital and finally being determined that she would need to go to a nursing home. Things were getting chaotic and rumors were flying as to whether our new boss had quit or not. On Friday as I was waiting to clock out I got a call from my new boss. He asked me if I wanted to meet him for a drink. I obliged. To cut to the chase, he wants me to be the department lead. This could potentially be a big deal for S4 and I in terms of money. I really enjoy what I do, but this takes it to a new level. I went to trade school for what I do and have always been lucky to have top notch mentors along the way. Maybe it’s about to pay off. Nothing is official yet, but I think it’s happening.

Hopefully I’m not jumping the gun, but I think something really good is happening for me. I’ve never been good at patting myself on the back, but I am here. There is nothing wrong with telling ourselves “well done”. It’s foreign to me, but I’m learning that I need to be able to compliment myself. Snuff out my inner critic. Validate the valid. I’ll be honest that my inner critic is telling me that it won’t go through, but I think it is going to.

What about you all? What is something positive that has happened for you since your breakup/divorce? How do you perceive it? Did you make it happen, or did it fall in your lap? Please share. I love a good success story.

[JNChell]

Hi, all! A lot of us have found ourselves here due to the aftermath of a heart wrenching experience. The thing is, is that we’re here to remedy that. To heal and move forward with our lives. So, this thread is an attempt to shine a positive light on our situations. I guess I’ll set the mood for the discussion and share something positive that has recently happened to me.

We’ve had an abrupt change in supervision in the department that I work in with the company that I’m employed by. The new supervisor was an internal employee whom I’ve been working closely with as he has been assisting our department. To be fair, he’s brilliant at our trade and it’s been great working with him.

I’ve been with this company for a year and a half. My ex was not supportive at all in me making the move even though I tried to explain that I was trying to find the best fit for our little family. Well, it turns out that this may have been a very good move after all.

My new supervisor had been off work due to his mom being admitted to the hospital and finally being determined that she would need to go to a nursing home. Things were getting chaotic and rumors were flying as to whether our new boss had quit or not. On Friday as I was waiting to clock out I got a call from my new boss. He asked me if I wanted to meet him for a drink. I obliged. To cut to the chase, he wants me to be the department lead. This could potentially be a big deal for S4 and I in terms of money. I really enjoy what I do, but this takes it to a new level. I went to trade school for what I do and have always been lucky to have top notch mentors along the way. Maybe it’s about to pay off. Nothing is official yet, but I think it’s happening.

Hopefully I’m not jumping the gun, but I think something really good is happening for me. I’ve never been good at patting myself on the back, but I am here. There is nothing wrong with telling ourselves “well done”. It’s foreign to me, but I’m learning that I need to be able to compliment myself. Snuff out my inner critic. Validate the valid. I’ll be honest that my inner critic is telling me that it won’t go through, but I think it is going to.

What about you all? What is something positive that has happened for you since your breakup/divorce? How do you perceive it? Did you make it happen, or did it fall in your lap? Please share. I love a good success story.

[Insom]

Hey, congrats on the step up, JNChell!  This is happy sounding news.  I am cheering for you. 

As some of you may know, I'm here to process an abusive relationship with a diagnosed person with BPD I had as a teen.  (I'm in my  late forties now.)

It's my pleasure to say about eighteen months after leaving my ex with BPD I met the man who became my husband.  We've been married over twenty years and while we've had our ups and downs the marriage is a happy one that feels loving and close. 

The experience i had with my ex was a clarifying one in that it helped me understand at a young age what I wanted and did not want in a relationship.  Without that experience I wonder if I'd have understood I'd found the right guy when met my husband.  With that experience, I had the presence of mind to say yes to my husband and allow the relationship to blossom into what it is today. 

[Turkish]

Great story, JNChell, go you!

This is kind of silly but I got a hug from a nice lady at church today. During the "greet your neighbor" point in the service, I had gotten her name but this was  months ago or more.  I'm bad at babes but I made sure to remember it.  To tell the truth,  I'm not Mich into the meet and greet and I hadn't said hi since that time.  She sits the next section over. 

Last week I greeted her by name and she was blown away that I remembered it.  She grabbed both my arms,  "that's remarkable that you remembered my name!" She asked mine and I told her.  I actually had a similar response with another lady in the church last year. Remembering someone's name is apparently very validating. 

Today she came over to say hi. I didn't say her name nor me hers, but after only a moment's of hesitation,  mutual hug.  I only had to make a little effort to put myself out there and it resulted in a friendly connection.  Now how to find out how to talk to her more without seeming creepy... .

[Red5]

Me and and my Son (S32 autistic) were out at the "no name pizza" joint having dinner the other night... .during the time that uBPDw was getting ready to move out... .so we would stay out of the house till late so our paths wouldn't cross... .

... .anyways, .we are sitting there, I'm interacting with him as I always do... .he asks me all kinds of questions, ie' how does a steam locomotive make steam... .so forth and so on... .

We had been there for a little while... .and this lady, whom I've never seen before comes up from behind me, and puts her hand on my shoulder, and she says to me... .

"it is a good thing that you are doing"... ."is this your brother?"... ."No Ma'am, he is my oldest Son"... .then as he always does, he starts in on his usual questions to the stranger he meets... ."whats your name, do you go to Church, .are you a Grandma"... .

She turns around to my Son, and she puts her hand on his cheek, and she says to him... .

"No I don't go to Church, but I probably will after meeting you, you are a precious Christmas Angel, bless you"... .then my Son reaches out to her, and she hugs him deeply... .and she says to him as she goes to walk away, ."it was good to met you, you my freind are a very special person"... .my Son lets her go, and giggles a little, and goes back to his fried shrimp... .and then she was gone... .

... .a little while latter, we are ready to go, and the waitress tells me that someone has already paid our bill... .

Wow !

An interesting night : )

You never know whom may be watching you... .you just never know... .

Red5

[Turkish]

That's a great story Red5. It's affirmative of faith in humanity,  that kindness wins.   

[Red5]

That's a great story Red5. It's affirmative of faith in humanity,  that kindness wins.  

Yup, its sure good to come across one of them Angels "unawares"... .sometimes !

... .Hebrews 13:2

Just when you're about to give up... .along comes one of these types... . 

Red5

[JNChell]

I don’t have time at the moment to respond, but I’ll be back this evening. I just wanted to report, because I’m so  excited, that they’re pulling the trigger on my promotion! Human Resources just confirmed it. Something like this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I really needed this. It feels good to feel good.

[Red5]

I don’t have time at the moment to respond, but I’ll be back this evening. I just wanted to report, because I’m so  excited, that they’re pulling the trigger on my promotion! Human Resources just confirmed it. Something like this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I really needed this. It feels good to feel good.

SIERRA HOTEL !

That's GREAT news JNChell !

Good To Go !

Regards !... .Red5

[JNChell]

Thanks, Red5. I love this community and the members here. I wanted to share my good news. Staying within the spirit of the thread, I’ll get back on topic.

Thank you, Insom. Much appreciated.

You painted a great picture here with a few paragraphs. To be able to understand and make proper decisions at such a young age is pretty remarkable. I’m very happy to hear that you and your husband are gracefully in love. Like I said, I love success stories. These stories of success can fuel the tanks of people that are struggling through this stuff. A little more wind in sail. A great motivator. Thanks for sharing, Insom.

[JNChell]

Turkish, there is nothing silly about what you described. In fact, it’s very sweet and nice to read about. Human connection is important. Humans need to connect in order to be happy. I’m speculating here, but I imagine that somewhere in your 10,000+ posts as a supporter here, that you’ve encouraged members to connect with others. We do it here everyday.

Taking my own advice is a difficult thing to do. I’m proud of the steps that I’ve made so far, but I’m still not good at taking my own advice. I try to help others more than I try to help myself. I’m ok with that and I’m granting myself patience in that. I’m aware of it and will continue to work with it from where I currently am.

I only had to make a little effort to put myself out there and it resulted in a friendly connection.

This made me smile and feel good for you. Don’t worry about not coming across as creepy. You’re not a creepy dude. Maybe offer to take her to breakfast. Talk about your kids to her and inquire about her life. I’m sure that she would love to hear stories about young children. It might hit home with her. You won’t know unless you put yourself out there to know.

Many of our Elders possess a wealth of knowledge, experience and understanding. What could it hurt to make a new friend?

[Stjarna]

I don’t have time at the moment to respond, but I’ll be back this evening. I just wanted to report, because I’m so  excited, that they’re pulling the trigger on my promotion! Human Resources just confirmed it. Something like this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I really needed this. It feels good to feel good.

I am SO happy for you, JNChell!  Way to go!   Ride that happy wave for a bit - I'm sure you deserve it! 

Some positive things that have happened to me lately -- there are many, but here's one:  I survived a corporate restructure - my department was reduced from over 50 people down to 8 -- I was one of the 8.  I'm grateful to have kept my job, and it looks like my position is safe for a bit - at least until I can retire in a year or two. 

That is just one example of a circumstance working out in my favor, but as I think about the biggest change that I feel at my core over the last five years, it would be that I have become confident and have learned to trust my own judgement a little, have come to trust that I can handle anything that comes my way with grace and humility, a peaceful "knowing" that all will be well.  I am making new connections all the time, something that was pretty foreign to me, as I have always labeled myself an introvert.  That is probably still true, as I still recharge with time spent alone, but I am less and less afraid to reach out and make new connections, and also less afraid to let go of connections that have unhealthy attributes. 

[JNChell]

Hi, Stjarna. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

but as I think about the biggest change that I feel at my core over the last five years, it would be that I have become confident and have learned to trust my own judgement a little, have come to trust that I can handle anything that comes my way with grace and humility, a peaceful "knowing" that all will be well.

I love success stories. This sounds like one. I’m very happy to read this. What do you consider that helped you get to this point?

[Harri]

JNChell, I am thrilled to hear about your promotion! 

Thanks for sharing that.  It must feel really good too.

[gotbushels]

JNChell  

Wow! Thank you for sharing. I found this thread tremendously encouraging.  

Congratulations on your promotion.  

On Friday as I was waiting to clock out I got a call from my new boss. He asked me if I wanted to meet him for a drink. I obliged. To cut to the chase, he wants me to be the department lead. This could potentially be a big deal for S4 and I in terms of money. I really enjoy what I do, but this takes it to a new level.

Awesome.


Red5  

"No I don't go to Church, but I probably will after meeting you [... .]

  Amazing.


Stjarna  

I survived a corporate restructure - my department was reduced from over 50 people down to 8 -- I was one of the 8.

I worked in a lean-driven business unit that used 'continuing restructure' as a terror tactic on their employees (I survived too). I think it's tremendously blessing that you were retained while it went on. Good on you.  


Something positive for me is I got a raise at my workplace, even though I didn't ask for it. I do feel I deserved it because I felt like I was consistently giving it 110%, e.g., I seemed to be doing jobs that belonged to other people, consistently.

I feel elated for a few reasons. First, I made a conscious effort not to neglect other parts of my life during that time. I.e., I'd often say "no" to things that didn't make sense for my life as whole. I feel that took a lot of guts, effort, and blessing. Mostly, I'm proud I did that despite having some bosses who were very aggressive (in an unhealthy way; and one was violent). Second, one of the senior bosses was extremely and excessively concerned with money. He's also quite tyrannical, I feel. One of my colleagues--whom the company very badly wanted to retain--resigned for a reason related to this. In spite of this senior boss, I still got a raise. Third, I really needed the money!

I feel I partially made the raise happen, and partially had it fall in my lap.

[Turkish]

Raises are praises.

I've gotten the "meets inflation" raise the past two years.  I'm  thankful for that because our organization practices hard ranking and comparisons between over 100 employees spread over 6 labs around the world. 3 years ago,  i got the first poor review I'd had since I started as a naive 20yo pup in tech in 1992. Basically, I needed to get over my r/s. I did phone it in work wise for about two years. I stepped it up in regards of what my boss told me to do to impress the remote senior manager who controlled the money.  No one is going to take your own initiative.  You own that. 

[JNChell]

Thanks Harri! It does.

[JNChell]

Hi, gotbushels. Thank you for the kind words and for contributing to the thread with your positive experience and support of others.

Something positive for me is I got a raise at my workplace, even though I didn't ask for it.

Awesome sauce!  It doesn’t get any more validating than that. You earned it.

You spoke of working in a lean driven business. The company that I work for is trying, and I stress trying, to implement lean manufacturing. One day last year they terminated 11 middle management employees within 2 hours time. I kind of get what you’re describing.

gotbushels, thank you for sharing this. From what I’ve read in your post, this didn’t fall in your lap. This was all you. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

[JNChell]

Turkish.

3 years ago,  i got the first poor review I'd had since I started as a naive 20yo pup in tech in 1992.

I’m surprised to be met with the opportunity that I have because I got a fairly poor review this year. Mostly because of my attitude. I didn’t realize how badly I was communicating. I was taking my baggage to work. I think that the one thing that I have in my corner is that my new boss went through a high conflict divorce and custody battle over his daughter. 2 years. He knows my situation on the surface. Maybe he empathizes. I don’t know, but he did relate during our conversation. My skill set is strong. Maybe as the new position transitions I’ll be able to utilize and practice the tools that I’m learning here.