What shall we give ourselves for Christmas?

[Bnonymous]

This time of year is hard for a lot of us for many reasons.

Most of us are struggling with caring for our pwBPD (and, often, for others too, kids, aging parents etc). It can be hard to find the time for self-care, though we know how important it is for our health and well-being.

Many of us will find the sadness over our pwBPD not being able to meet our needs heightened over the holidays. There will be things we wish they would do for us, which we know they probably won't do... .

So... .Let's think of something we can do for ourselves this holiday season, a gift from ourselves to ourselves. This might mean buying ourselves a little present (doesn't have to be expensive, could be a box of chocolates, a new journal, a new lipstick). Or it could be a trip to the hairdresser or the swimming pool or gym. It could be making time to reread a favourite book. Or baking biscuits with our kids. Or... .Well, it could be anything really! Something that reminds us we value ourselves and deserve to be treated and cared for and that, even if no one else steps in to do this for us, we can do it for ourselves.

What will your Christmas gift to you be?

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[Zakade]

I'm really thinking about a massage.  I've had them in the past and it really helps release my stress and relax.  Plus it's time to myself without someone asking me for something or breaking up fights among the kids.  And it feels good too.

[Yellowpearl]

What a great thread. Holiday times are rough as I’m struggling with this person with BPD and trying to take care of myself. I’m gonna start journaling more and maybe go head down to tb bookstore one day and read and get some chocolates for myself. I haven’t done that in a while. I think doing so may help relieve some stress. Sometimes I forget how important self care is.

[hope2727]

I am giving myself 3 days off from work and school. Oh and a new bird feeder that I bought and put out today. Now I can enjoy it right up until the big day.

[flourdust]

My divorce was finalized about a month ago, so now there's nothing left but a bunch of stressful financial paperwork and years of dysfunctional co-parenting. 

I actually did treat myself to a little Black Friday divorce present ... .one of those Nespresso machines. Treating myself to a nice little cup of coffee at the touch of a button feels like pampering.

[once removed]

tickets to see my favorite politician. its not really the ideal setting (its a book tour) but it may be the only chance ill get.

[Mrb87]

Taking myself to the movies then to the spa

[Bnonymous]

I'm enjoying reading everyone's responses.

I'm still undecided myself, but that take time out to reread a favourite book option is looking very appealing... . 

[desperate.wife]

   
The biggest gift I got this year was the one of white page. I was afraid of white page. I can't make straight lines on white page. I ruin it. Lines, squares gives the base, the frame. But in creative writing workshop the magic of white page was revealed to me. It is so freeing. It is amazing; starting with white page you can do what you want. Not straight? So what. I will not ruin it, I will make it mine. Maybe not perfect, but mine. I can do anything with it! Write, draw, paint, glue... .

I was advised to make a list of things I like, decorate it and stick it to the wall in a nice place, like bathroom, where I could see it everyday or when I feel sad. I started it yesterday, it is long list It was nice taking time to think about things I like, went to bed smiling

Another thing I offered me is my morning ritual. Slow slow shower with nice smelling shower gel. I lit candle. I let water massage my shoulders. I open my palms and feel the water running down. I brush, I put face cream. I never used any cream before. I take time to do it, watching carefully myself in the mirror. I need to get to know that person. Then I take my fish oil. And I blow the candle. Little me time every day.
   
From bpdfamily I got support and discovery of "Feeling good". I never thought a book can change my life, but this one might. It is slow work, but it is helping. For years I was caught up in doing nothingness, and I learned I don't need to be. I can change it.

 
Merry Christmas everyone, let the New Year bring you new discoveries and joy of little things. I wish you strength and freedom from our inner little demons.
       
Thank you all,

desperate.wife

[Bnonymous]

Thanks for sharing, desperate.wife. I really enjoyed reading that and found it inspiring and uplifting.

Merry Christmas to you too. Those are lovely New Year's wishes - I echo you in wishing them for everyone here.