Gathering wool

[Turkish]

He said he didn't remember it because it was an incidental comment, and that it was issues from my childhood that are causing my fear

Sounds like he admits that he did remember it.  Such a comment would make anyone stop and think,  are you serious?

[Kwamina]

Thanks for the update Wools, I'm glad you're still safe

…... the subject of his comment about the gun came up. He said he didn't remember it because it was an incidental comment, and that it was issues from my childhood that are causing my fear.

This seems typical of how he treats you, he doesn't take any responsibility for his disturbing behaviors and keeps pointing the finger at you, instead of taking a critical look at himself and owning his quite significant part in what's going on.

He said that if he can't make incidental comments, then he'll need to walk around in a plastic bubble.

Saying things like "I'm thinking I might have to come home and get my gun and take it down there", is definitely not an incidental comment in my opinion. It's threatening to use a lethal weapon to confront people. Considering his long history of disturbing behavior towards you, including the fact that he once hit you, I consider your concerns and fears fully understandable and justified. I'm saying all this because I know how he tries to get inside your head and try to turn everything around on you and make you doubt yourself. Two can play that game though and I have some nice Parrot Mind Tricks ;)

Will be interesting to see how your session on Friday with the marriage counselor goes.

[Harri]

Thanks for checking in.  I am relieved to know you are safe and in good hands.

 

[Woolspinner2000]

Thanks guys. 

I'm saying all this because I know how he tries to get inside your head and try to turn everything around on you and make you doubt yourself. Two can play that game though and I have some nice Parrot Mind Tricks ;)

He really does try to get into my head, and unfortunately I allow him far too much free rental space. Our MC told me that I catch the grenades that DH throws at me, and then I let them explode, sending the shrapnel into me and wounding me. Such an appropriate word picture.

From the texts DH sent last night, he is not sure why I'm absent, even though I stayed with BIFF and responded as I had told him on the phone: I need time to think. Then I said we will talk at MC Friday (5 pm appt).

I had a Skype video conference with all my kids Tuesday evening. It was hard to do but none of them seemed surprised. My S24 was very angry at his D & at God, because he keeps hoping that God will wave his magic wand and fix it. It's so hard to watch their pain and sadness, and I want to gather them up and hold them and never bring pain into their lives.  But I know I did. I reached out to each of them yesterday to reassure them of my love and support and to see how they were doing.

Last night I met with a dear friend that I haven't seen in a while to look at my next possible step for staying somewhere off the radar for a couple months while I sort things out. I think it will work. Just need to get through the lawyer appt this afternoon (I hope to have papers ready to go but not signed yet since I still need some time), and tomorrow The MC.

Many sighs. I'm a tired llama, and it's only morning.

 
Woolsie

[zachira]

Thinking of you and admiring your courage. Admiring above all how you are showing you care about your children's and husband's feelings and well being by being kind yet proactive at the same time.

[Only Human]

This thread has reached its posting limit and is now locked.  Part 2 is here https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=333844.0